


It's Cold Outside

by CosmoQueen



Category: EXO (Band), T-Ara, Teen Top (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/M, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-27
Updated: 2013-02-27
Packaged: 2018-01-17 11:46:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 22,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1386457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CosmoQueen/pseuds/CosmoQueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s cold, the boy though as a strong breeze sent chills all through his body. He noted just how fast the temperature dropped within the past couple hours.</p><p>Why didn’t I grab a jacket? It’s not like he planned being out at this time of the evening. And when he first stepped outside it wasn’t so bad. He rubbed his arms through the thin material covering them as he tried to figure out just what the hell he was going to do and where he was going to go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Also appearances from Ham Eunjung, Bang Minah, Park Chanyeol, Jung Daehyun and Lee Soonkyu (Sunny from SNSD).

`_It’s cold,_` the boy thought as a strong breeze sent chills all through his body. He noted just how fast the temperature dropped within the past couple hours.

`_Why didn’t I grab a jacket?_` It’s not like he planned being out at this time of the evening. And when he first stepped outside it wasn’t so bad. He rubbed his arms through the thin material covering them as he tried to figure out just what the hell he was going to do and where he was going to go.

Wandering aimlessly downtown at night isn’t exactly the best idea. But it’s not like he had a choice. The only other option was standing outside staring at a door that isn’t going to be opened for you anytime soon.

Being mobile while feeling pathetic is better than being stationary while feeling pathetic (at least he hoped so). Now where to go? There’s no way a single man can keep walking all night until God knows when.

He needed some kind of shelter for the time being because the wind was getting relentless and he was becoming extremely concerned for the safety of his nether region.

Practically everywhere was closed at this time of the night so his options were limited. The only things open at this time of the night were diners, a few convenience stores, and of course bars. At least, that’s all he could think of.

Not a very good set of options in his opinion. There were no diners around that he knew of, a convenience store was out of the question (he wasn’t going to stoop to loitering), and unfortunately there weren’t any 24 hour churches open like there always seems to be in movies. Not that Changhyun was very religious, but it sounded a lot safer than a seedy bar filled with tattooed bikers and gun toting gangsters (which were the types that frequented bars in his mind).

Now where to find one? His eyes scanned all the businesses in the area. He saw a couple restaurants, shoe store, an office supply store, and some sort of business-ey business place. He was going to move on until something caught his eye.

It was somewhat behind the row of businesses (it was somewhat like a small shopping center) so he didn’t notice it right away. He timidly walked up to the place and looked up at a dim neon sign that read “No. 1”.

`_That’s a pretty presumptuous name for a bar……..or anyplace,_` he thought to himself. He assumed it was a bar seeing as the windows were tinted. What non-seedy place would have tinted windows? He took a deep breath, stepped up to the door, took another breath and opened it.

It wasn’t as scary as he thought it would be. There were no gun-toting gangsters or tattooed bikers (so far). Just a few people playing pool on the lower level, and some sitting at tables drinking and smoking. On the upper level (there was just a few steps separating them) were a few tables, a couple couches, a couple tvs, a jukebox (not the kind your parents remember) and of course, the bar itself.

The place was small enough that he could easily see from one end to the other, which put him a little bit at ease. He sat down at the bar and nervously waited for whoever was supposed to be working behind it to show up.

It wasn’t long before he saw someone made their way from the back. He was attractive, tall, and had dark purple hair. Which was odd but he seemed to pull it off very well.

“Well hi there cutie”, the purple headed bartender said with a pretty smile “I’ve never seen you here before”.

Changhyun blushed, “Well yeah, I’ve never been here before”. `_Oh yeah, state the obvious, real cool Changhyun._`

The bartender chuckled at him, “What can I get you sweetie?”

“Umm” he thought about it for a second “something that doesn’t have alcohol in it”.

“Not much of a drinker are you?” he asked him.

“No not really” it wasn’t something Changhyun really saw the point in.

The bartender disappeared behind the bar, obviously looking for something, “What’s your name honey?”

“Um, it’s Changhyun”.

“Well Changhyunnie”, he reappeared “I’m Chanhee, it’s nice to meet you” he added with a wink. He then passed Changhyun a small glass with red liquid in it. “It’s cranberry juice”, he winked again.

Changhyun gave a slight bow of his head “Thank you Chanhee-sshi”.

“You’re welcome cutie-pie”, he replied before looking at his watch,  “Hey I have a few things to do before my shift is over so I’ll be in the back for a bit. Call me if you need anything okay?”

“Okay, but um what do I owe you?”

“Nothing babe, don’t worry about it”, and with another wink he made his way back to where it was he had to do whatever he had to do.

Changhyun took a couple sips of the cranberry juice. It wasn’t his favorite type of juice but he hadn’t had a thing in his stomach for quite some time so it was _something_. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and unlocked the screen somehow hoping the sound was accidentally turned off. Of course it wasn’t. No missed phone calls, no missed texts, no nothing.

A small cynical laugh escaped his lips. `_Of course not, nobody cares so who the hell would be calling?_`

He was lost in thought, barely noticing when Chanhee came out to refill his glass, and barely noticing when someone took the seat that was next to him.

But that someone noticed him.


	2. Hello Stranger

`_“Why so serious? Get your cray on, get your cray on, get your cray ,get your cray, get your cray on.....”_` “Ugh,” Jonghyun grunted as he was awakened from a rather pleasant nap by his phone alarm. He shut it off then sat up on his couch and rubbed his eyes.

He saw the time and groaned as he got up and made his way to the bathroom he shares with his roommate to brush his teeth and splash some water on his face.

“Hyung better be ready to go cuz I swear I’m gonna kick him in the balls if he’s not this time,” he ranted to himself as he pulled on a jacket and made his way to his car after locking the door.

After getting inside, he checked his red hair out in the rearview mirror and shrugged. Yeah it was a bit messy, but it’s not like he’s going out on a date or anything.

About 15 minutes later he pulled up outside “No. 1” and made his way inside.

He scanned the room for his friend only to find him at a table near the back shamelessly flirting with a group of attractive guys sitting there. He rolled his eyes and went to sit at the bar.

` _I’m not waiting for him all fucking night again. I’m giving his ass 15 minutes then I’m going home._ `

He grumbled some more to himself and kept looking up at the clock on the wall. He looked to his left to glance at the person sitting next to him and he could’ve sworn he felt someone punch him in the chest. He couldn’t breathe and he swore he heard angels sing.

`_Holy fuck,_` was the most intelligent thing his brain could come up with as he looked at the most beautiful creature he ever laid eyes on. He had porcelain skin, gorgeous defined features, dark brown hair, and the cutest ears he’s ever seen in his life.

` _Shit, shit, shit, why didn’t I fix my hair? And why didn’t I put some damn cologne on?? Fuck my life._ `

He was frantic. He considered going home and coming back more presentable than he was now, but decided against it. He didn’t want to risk the chance of this god-like creature walking out of his life without at least an attempt to get to know him.

He took a deep breath, and turned to face the boy who was blankly staring at the red liquid in his glass.

“Hey there,” he nodded at him.

The boy looked back at him “hi”, was all he got back.

`_Fuck, those eyes._` He wanted to cry. This guy was so beautiful he really could’ve just broken down in tears.

“Can I get you a drink or something? You don’t seem to be enjoying whatever that is that’s in your glass too much”, he asked him.

“No thanks, I don’t really drink”, this boy really didn’t seem like he was in the mood to talk. Jonghyun’s mind raced wondering what he could do or say to get his attention.

He got up from his chair and made his way behind the bar, which seemed to work.

“What are you doing back there?” the Changhyun questioned him.

“Oh it’s okay, my friend works here”, pulled up a small metal shovel with some ice in it (from somewhere Changhyun couldn’t see) and dropped it in in his drink.

“Oh, thank you”, Changhyun gave him a slight smile.

“No problem, it seemed like you could use it”, he grinned at him then made his way back to his seat, “so you look kinda bored here, are you waiting for someone?”

“No, I’m here by myself, you?”?

“I’m here waiting to give my friend a ride home from work”, he motioned over at Chanhee who was still talking and giggling like a school girl with the same guys from earlier.

“Chanhee-sshi seems very friendly”, Changhyun commented before taking another sip of his juice.

“Friendly………………..whore……………same difference”, he just shrugged while Changhyun choked on his drink.

“So, about you…………” Jonghyun started.

“What about me?”

“I’m just curious, because I’ve never seen you here before and this doesn’t exactly seem like your type of place”, Jonghyun stared at him waiting for an answer.

“I’m just……..” Changhyun tried to think up a lie that would make sense, “here killing some time” not exactly a lie though.

“Hmmm, I see.” After a bit of silence, “Do you go to school? I just enrolled in university not to long ago.”

`_What’s this guy up to?_` “Um, yeah. I enrolled last year.”

“Last year huh? Wow you look young. You must be pretty smart,” he said with a smile.

Changhyun couldn’t help but smile himself, “Yeah I do alright”. Of all the things he felt he was worthless at (which was practically everything), that was one thing he was proud of.

“What are you majoring in?”

“Writing, it’s something I’ve always kinda liked doing. Sort of like a hobby,” a hobby was only putting it mildly. It was more like a passion for him. Something he never really liked talking about because most people found it either boring or worthless. It was a _“waste of time”_ because writers are _“a dime a dozen”_ as his father used to say.

“That’s pretty cool. What do you write? Fiction? Non-fiction? Articles? Poetry?” Jonghyun asked him as he turned in his chair to face the other directly.

Changhyun was stunned, nobody has ever in his life asked about him, what he’s interested in, or what he wants to do with his life, “Well, a little bit of everything actually”.

Jonghyun looked impressed, “Wow. You ARE smart” he winked at him.

Changhyun’s heart lit up at the compliment, “Thanks,” he said shyly, “what about you?”

“Well, as for right now I’m majoring in _“I Don’t Fucking Know”_ and I think I might minor in _“Whatever Makes Me a Shitload of Money”_.

Changhyun rolled his eyes at him, “Your parents must be so proud”.

“Yeah, they love me” Jonghyun said with a wide grin. “Mind if I ask you a personal question?” Jonghyun continued.

“Um yeah I do mind,” Changhyun was beginning to get annoyed but it didn’t seem to deter the other one bit.

“Are you single?” He asked him.

Changhyun scoffed at him, “I don’t think that’s any of your business.”

“Why not? I think that’s a perfectly acceptable question to ask somebody you like and are attracted to.”

“Like? How can you like me? You don’t even know me!” Changhyun frowned at him.

“I know enough” the other said with a wink, “now, are you?”

“I’m not answering that” he stared down at his barely less than half full glass of cranberry juice while trying to ignore how hot his face felt at that moment.

“Okay then that’s fine. It’s just a shame though. I mean, I can’t imagine some fucking moron letting a gorgeous thing like you be out at a place like this where someone like me can hit on you,” this time he had a smirk to accompany his wink.

Changhyun didn’t say a thing, he only kept staring at his glass. He really didn’t know what to do or say, he’d never been in this situation before.  

Nothing was said by either for quite some time. But the redhead was still staring at him which was making him quite uncomfortable.

“So, do you drive? Just curious,” Jonghyun asked while slyly scooting his chair a bit closer to Changhyun (it would’ve worked but the damn thing had a squeak).

“Um, no. No I don’t.” `_What the hell is he up to?_`

“I see. Hmmm”, the redhead seemed lost in thought.

“What?? What’s your problem?” The boy tried not to let his voice show just how freaked out he was starting to feel.

“Well I was just thinking hyung, why would someone as smart as you be at a place like this at this time of the night by yourself? I mean, you don’t drive so you probably walked here. The nearest university is nowhere near here so you probably don’t live in this area. It’s fucking freezing and you have no jacket on. Plus, I should mention you have no money on you to buy a decent drink because really now, who goes to a bar to pass time while sober?” Jonghyun leaned on his elbow on the bar as he waited for either a response or a slap in the face.

`_Oh my God….._` Changhyun’s mouth dropped open. What was he supposed to say to that? He froze. `_Did he just call me hyung?_`

“Well hyung, why are you here? What happened to you?” Jonghyun asked him with a serious yet tender look in his eyes.

Changhyun’s heart was racing and he wasn’t exactly sure why.

` _Make up something, ANYTHING!! Walk away! Or say it’s none of his business._ `

“I had nowhere else to go,” `_Shit, why did I say that?_` But it was the truth. The truth that he didn’t mean to say, but it’s what came out. He never was good at lying.

“I’m sorry,” Jonghyun said while softly placing his hand over Changhyun’s (the hand that currently had a death grip on his glass).

` _He’s touching me. Oh my God, why is he touching me? What do I do?_ `

“Well, since you have nowhere to go……..” he slightly rubbed the scared boy’s hand, “wanna come back to my place?”


	3. What To Do?

“WHAT?!” he snatched his hand away from Jonghyun’s, “Are you crazy?! I don’t even know you! Hell, I don’t even know your name! I sure as hell am not gonna sleep with you!”

“Woah, calm down, I didn’t say anything about sleeping with me. I just asked you go home with me.”

“Well what else was I supposed to think that meant? Do you always going around asking strangers to go…..”

“Choi Jonghyun” he cut him off.

“What?”

“That’s my name, Choi Jonghyun” he said with a chuckle.

Changhyun took a second to rub his temples and wonder what the hell was going on with his life at the moment. He was aggravated beyond belief and was hoping somehow this night would end soon. “Look Jonghyun,” he stared before being cut off again by a dark haired female that had just walked through the door.

“Hey Chanhee-ah, time to go home,” she yelled out to the bartender as she took off her jacket and made her way behind the bar.

“Bitch you’re late!” Chanhee said as he made his way back up to the bar with a short blonde male following him.

“Well excuuuuuse me for having car trouble!”

“Yeah Eunjung noona, you’re late,” Jonghyun chimed in “you know full well that interferes with hyungs whoring around”.

` _Wow they all seem so close._` Changhyun couldn’t help but feel a bit jealous. He always wondered what it was like to have friends to play around with like that.

Chanhee smacked Jonghyun’s shoulder, “Hey! It’s not whoring, it’s socializing” he said as he made his way to the back. He came out a few minutes later with his jacket on. He took his blonde friend’s hand and started towards the door.

“Changhyun-ah, it was nice meeting you cutie. See ya noona.” He waved at Eunjung.

“Bye, have fun,” she winked at him as he was going out the door.

“Bye whore!” Jonghyun called after him.

Chanhee stuck his head back in for a second to say, “Later fatass.”

“Looks like he ditched you again Jonghyun-ah” Eunjung said to him with a laugh.

“Yup, looks like it” he said with a chuckle before turning to look at Changhyun who did nothing but pretend there was something interesting on the wall for him to stare at.

“So, Changhyun, I like that name.” The boy just shrugged in reply, “Well since my friend just ditched me I guess I have no reason to be longer. So are you going to take me up on my offer? I mean, I really don’t want to leave you here all by yourself with nowhere to go.”

As suspicious as Changhyun was, he couldn’t help but note the sincerity in the other’s voice. He couldn’t help but sense that MAYBE he really had no ulterior motives at all.

“No thanks, I’ll be alright don’t worry about me.” He said with what he hope was a reassuring smile. Though to the other it just looked sad.

“You sure? Is your boyfriend coming to pick you up anytime soon?”

Changhyun hated lying, “Um not right now. I haven’t called him yet and………..”

` _Wait a second…………_` _._` _did he just…………oh shit……._` Changhyun realized what just happened, ”HEY! That was sneaky!”

Jonghyun chuckled at him, “Well you wouldn’t answer me so………..”

Changhyun just rolled his eyes at him.

“Well Changhyun hyung, it was really a pleasure meeting you,” he said as he got up from his chair “call him before it gets too late okay? I hope I get to see you again soon.”

“Yeah okay I will. Bye.” Changhyun looked down at his silent phone. He dreaded calling him, he knew exactly was would happen. But did he really have a choice? He turned to see the redhead giving him and Eunjung a wave before walking out the door. He felt his heart sink and he wasn’t sure why.

“Can I get you anything honey?” The pretty bartender asked him.

“No thank you noona.”He replied to her. He looked around when he started hearing some rather loud music playing. He hadn’t noticed how many people there were in the bar now. He got up from his chair, and went into the men’s room. Thankfully, it was empty so he took a deep breath and pressed #2 on his speed dial and listened to it ring.

Voicemail. It went straight to voicemail.

“Unbelievable! Un-freaking-believable!!!” Changhyun ranted until the bathroom door opened and he realized he was caught talking to himself.

After waiting forever for the man to do his business and leave, he dialed the number once again.

Voicemail.

He called again, and again, and several more times after that before finally getting an answer.

“What the fuck do you want Changhyun?” `_Shit, he’s still angry at me._` After hearing that, he knew this wouldn’t end well.

“Look Jongdae, I’m sorry I…..”

“I already said all I have to say to you tonight, and that’s it!” He yelled at him.

“I said I’m sorry! What else do you want from me?” Changhyun was almost in tears now.

“I want you to fucking learn your lesson!!”

“Please, it’s late and cold and I have no mon……….”

**` _*CLICK*_ ` **

Changhyun leaned back against the wall and slid down to the floor. It wasn’t like he was surprised. In fact, he was pretty sure this would happen. But somewhere inside he hoped his boyfriend wouldn’t let it go on this long.

After spending an unknown amount of time sobbing on the dirty floor of a men’s room in a bar, Changhyun figured it was time for him to get the hell out of there. He wiped his tear stained face off with tissue and look at his reflection in the mirror. His eyes were red and puffy.

` _It’s not like anyone will notice so whatever._ `

He left the restroom and made his way towards the door. Sticking his phone in his back pocket he opened the door and stepped outside. There was more wind out than earlier and he was already freezing.

He braced himself against the wind as best as he could and began to slowly make his way back towards the way that he came. He figured that maybe after a few hours of begging and pleading at his front door that maybe he’d be let inside. MAYBE.

Being pathetic alone outside is better than being pathetic alone while surrounded by people that are having fun (at least he hoped so).

He didn’t get very far before he thought heard someone call his name out. He thought he was hearing things until he turned around to see a familiar redhead jogging up behind him.

“What the hell are you doing out here? It’s fucking freezing!!” He didn’t have a chance to reply before said redhead grabbed his arm and lead him to his car. He opened the passenger door for him and he got in without even a second thought. The car was already on and the heater made it feel like heaven inside.

“I thought you were calling your boyfriend to come get you.” He said once he got in the driver’s side. He decided not to ask the other about his puffy red eyes.

“Well,” time to lie yet again, “I did but couldn’t get through. I think his phone is dead.”

“Ohhhh I see,” Jonghyun said while his mind screamed `_“BULLSHIT”_`.

“What are you still doing out here anyways? I thought you went home?”

Time for Jonghyun to lie now, “I was………..smoking a cigarette.” He didn’t exactly want to tell him that he was waiting to see if a boyfriend showed up.

Changhyun nodded and pretended to buy his excuse even though he didn’t smell a hint of cigarette smoke on him.

“So where do you live at? I’ll drop you off” Jonghyun asked him while buckling his seatbelt.

“Oh so you’re not still trying to take me home?” Changhyun did the same with a smirk on his face.

“Haha naw I wouldn’t do that to you. I wouldn’t wanna seem creepy. Or like a perv.”

“Too late for that.”

The other laughed at him as he switched gears and began driving out the bar’s parking lot, “Which way?”

“You know that grocery store a few blocks that way? Well just another block past there are some apartments and….”

“Oh yeah I know where that is. I work at that store actually.” He said while turning in that direction.

“Oh okay, cool.” Changhyun was surprised that they were so close to each other and didn’t know it. He didn’t recall ever seeing the boy before, yet couldn’t help but wonder if the other had seen him.

Things were silent until they had stopped at a red light. Jonghyun grabbed his wallet and opened it up then handed it to Changhyun, “Here.”

Changhyun took it with a confused look on his face until he added, “My ID, see it?”

He saw it, it was a student ID. “Um yeah, but why are you showing me this?”

Jonghyun chuckled at him, “So that you’d know I wasn’t lying about my name. I don’t want you thinking I’m a crazy person or something.”

Changhyun resisted the urge to say `_“Too late for that”_` again. Looking at the ID he noted the birthdate on it, “Hey I’m not even a year older than you ya know.”  He handed the wallet back to him.

“Oh really? Hmmm you seem older”.

“Is that why you’ve been calling me “hyung” since we met?”

“Well yeah. I mean, you seemed like you were around my age but, you’re definitely more mature than I am.” He turned and grinned at him.

Changhyun held back a laugh but couldn’t stop the wide smile from spreading across his face. He wondered if it was weird to feel this comfortable with someone you didn’t even know.

“You have a really cute smile hyung,” Jonghyun told him.

“Shut up,” he said without looking at him yet still smiling.

It wasn’t much more than five minutes later when they reached the apartment complex Changhyun lived at. He directed him to the side his place was at and Jonghyun pulled around to that side and into a parking space. Not just any parking space, but Jongdae’s parking space. The same one he always used.

` _He left............he actually left. What do I do now?_ `


	4. From Before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I know, I suck at titling these chapters lol. Moving on...........

“Something wrong?” Jonghyun asked after noticing the worried expression on the boy’s face.

` _Do I tell him the pathetic truth? I don’t really have a choice do I?_ `

“Well, I don’t think he’s home so I can’t get in.” `_It’s not lying if you don’t tell the whole truth right?_`

Jonghyun was confused, “So you don’t have a key?”

“Um no,” he looked down at his hands that were nervously fidgeting with the hem of his shirt “I don’t have them with me.”

Jonghyun could easily tell there was a lot more going on here, but he decided to leave it alone for time being.

“Well I guess you’re stuck with me then!” He grinned at him.

Changhyun gave him a small smile in return. His heart started beating like crazy as he pulled the car out the parking space, out the apartment complex, and down the street. He knew he was nervous but from what? He tried to tell himself it was because of the fact he was going to be alone in a strangers home where God knows what could happen to him _(he could be a serial killer for all he knew!)_. Because it couldn’t be because he was going to be alone with an incredibly gorgeous and sexy stranger that likes him and might try to come on to him _(he wasn’t going to admit to himself how much he liked that thought)_.

Though he couldn’t not ignore the worry creeping in the back of his mind. Not about being alone with said stranger, but the whereabouts of his boyfriend. _Where the hell would he be at this hour?_ He had a feeling he knew where, but he didn’t want to think about it. Partly because it upset him, and also, because of him being told numerous times how it’s _“None of his fucking business”_.

And also worried that if he ever found out he was alone with another guy………..he didn’t want to even think about what would happen.

` _I wouldn’t even be in this damn situation if it wasn’t for him!_ ` But of course knowing him, it wouldn’t matter (it never did). He shuddered remembering what happened last time…………………..

 

` **_Two Months ago……………_ ** `

 

_“Here you go sir, and here’s your change!” The cute girl behind the counter handed him the money after he paid for his latte._

_“Thanks, have a nice day!” He gave her a smile before he picked up his cup from the counter and turned to leave._

_He was trying to decide whether to have lunch or just grab a snack from the nearest vending machine to munch on in the library. He needed to get a bit of studying done before his next class._

_He was almost out the door before he felt a hand on his shoulder, “Hey excuse me.”_

_He turned around to look at the handsome stranger that stopped him, “Yes?”_

_“Hi, I’m sorry to bother you, I know you don’t know me but I’m Jung Daehyun, you’re in my literature class.” He extended his hand for Changhyun to shake it._

_“Oh yes, I’ve seen you. Nice to meet you!” He shook his hand and bowed at the handsome boy._

_“Likewise! Anyways, I was wondering if maybe I could copy some notes off you. I hear you’re pretty smart and this class is really giving me hell.” The boy chuckled nervously._

_“Yeah sure, no problem!” They both sat at a table near the back of the café and Changhyun rummaged through his backpack searching for his notes from that class._

_“Here you go, you can keep them I have copies at home. I tend to get asked for them a lot so it’s become a habit to make lots of copies.”_

_“Well I can see why, you’re the smartest guy here!” Daehyun smiled at him._

_“Omo! Well, I don’t know about that……..” Changhyun blushed even though he knew it was probably true._

_“Hey that’s what everybody told me. My first day here, they were like if you need notes for ANYTHING ask Yoo Changhyun.”_

_“Oh you’re not from here?” He was hoping to change the subject. Yes, he knew he was intelligent but still, it felt awkward talking about it._

_“Yeah I just moved up here from Busan.”_

_“Oh really? That’s cool. How old are you by the way? You look pretty young.”_

_“Ha! Speak for yourself! You look like you’re 12!!” They both laughed._

_Changhyun couldn’t remember the last time he had a nice conversation with someone around his age (he learned Daehyun was a year older than him). Probably because it never happened before. He was always too shy to make friends and the kids that did pay attention to him only wanted his help with studying or notes._

_After chatting a little while longer he checked his phone for the time and saw it was time to go._

_“Hey I gotta get going now; it was nice talking to you Daehyun hyung.”_

_“Yeah same here thanks again for the notes. You saved my life!”_

_Changhyun chuckled, “No problem, bye!”_

_“Hey Changhyun, I’ll see ya in class. We should hang out sometime!”_

_Changhyun swore he felt his heart stop beating for a second, “Yeah, I’d really like that. See ya!”_

_He walked outside with the biggest grin on his face. He couldn’t believe that someone actually seemed to like him enough to want to spend time with him. Time that didn’t include schoolwork!_

_His happiness didn’t last long. It ended the moment he heard a familiar voice call his name. And that voice sounded pissed off._

_“Jongdae,” he turned around to face his boyfriend._

_“What the hell was that?” He said in a low voice, not wanting to draw attention._

_“You know exactly what the hell I mean!” He grabbed Changhyun’s arm._

_“He….he’s my classmate he just needed notes.”_

_“Bullshit!! I saw you in there laughing and flirting with him!” His grip tightened._

_“Jongdae, I….I  wasn’t flirting! We were just talking about class I swear!” He didn’t look like he believed him._

_“I seriously don’t have time for this shit right now.” He let go of his arm._

_“Jongdae….”_

_“We’ll talk about this at home.” And with that he turned at left him. Changhyun stood there frozen for a few minutes wondering just where he even came from and if he had been watching him._

_He knew it was gonna be hell when he got home later that day. The thought made him nauseous. He tossed his mostly full latte in the nearest trash can and tried his best to focus on the class he was almost late for._

_Fortunately him being distracted didn’t seem to have much effect on his ability to learn (he was the “Smartest Guy in School”after all). But unfortunately the day ended a lot faster than he had hoped. And he soon found himself at home pacing around waiting for Jongdae to come home._

_He made Jongdae’s favorite dinner and was keeping his plate warm in the oven. He also finished the laundry and cleaned the entire apartment (and then re-cleaned it just to make sure). Though he knew full well that wouldn’t do a single thing to curb his anger._

_While pacing some more he tried to think of something or anything that could help the situation till he heard a familiar click come from the door._

_He stopped dead in his tracks as he heard another click and then saw the doorknob turn._

_Changhyun took a deep breath and braced himself for the hell he knew that was about to break loose._


	5. Hungry?

“Hyung?” Changhyun was brought out of his thoughts when he heard Jonghyun calling his name.

“Huh?”

“You kinda zoned out on me there, you alright?” His amusement turned to concern when he saw the worry on the other’s face.

“Uh, yeah I’m okay.” Changhyun said without looking at him.

Jonghyun reached out and put his fingers under the boy’s chin and turned his head to face him, “You sure?” he asked as he lightly stroked his cheek with his thumb.

“I’m…….good.” Changhyun was so flushed from the gentle touch that he could barely get the words out.

“Good, now come on!” The redhead exclaimed while unbuckling his seat belt and getting out the car.

It didn’t even register to Changhyun that the car was no longer moving and that they had parked. He realized they were in the parking lot of the grocery store that was close to where he lived at.

“What are we doing here?” He asked the redhead when he came around to his side to open his door.

“Well, I’m hungry and I guessed you haven’t had dinner yet so I figured I’d grab us something before heading home.

Changhyun had been so lost in thought that he didn’t realize the car had come to a stop in front of the same grocery store they talked about earlier. He followed him inside as went straight to the frozen food section.

Jonghyun opened one of the cold doors and pulled out two boxes of frozen pizza.

“Pepperoni, or supreme?” He asked the other while holding them both in front of him for him to see.

“Look Jonghyun I appreciate this, but you really don’t have to get me anything.”

The boy pouted a bit, “Aw come on hyung, of course I do! You’re my guest and it would be rude of me to bring you into my home without cooking you a lovely dinner.”

“You call this cooking?” He asked him.

“Shhhhhh!” He shoved both boxes into Changhyun’s arms before walking off to another isle.

Changhyun quickly followed behind him. This time he shoved several different pints of ice cream on top of the pizza he was carrying (this time without asking his opinion).

He looked at a few more, grabbed another one and said, “Come on hyung!” and made his way to the check-out isle in the front.

He put down the ice cream in his hands along with the items Changhyun had down at the only lit up isle in the store. He looked around but didn’t see a soul in sight. Not even another customer, the place seemed deserted.

“Is anybody even here?” Changhyun questioned him, “Maybe we should go somewhere else.” He rubbed his hands up and down his arms. Being in the frozen section gave him the chills again.

“Naw, I’m sure somebody’s here.” The redhead took his jacket off and draped it around the shivering boy’s shoulders.

“Thank you.” He said quietly (while trying not to look at the muscles in the other’s bare arms).

“You’re welcome,” the other said with a wink, “hey I’ll be right back.”

Changhyun nodded and watched as he walked back somewhere he couldn’t see. Probably going to find a clerk or something he figured. He was still shivering a bit so he put his arms in the jacket and pulled it closed. It was then that he caught a whiff of something…………something very nice.

He looked around to make sure his new friend wasn’t nearby and sniffed the collar of the jacket.

` _Wow, what cologne is that?_` He thought to himself. He didn’t have a clue but damn if it didn’t smell sexy as hell.

 _`Is there even such a thing as a sexy smell?`_ It did sound ridiculous to him. Though he couldn’t not notice the tingle that went through him as he thought about the man that the smell came from, and what it might be like if he smelled it directly on him.

He felt even more tingly (he hoped it was just from him being cold) thinking about being that close to him and he was sure he was blushing by now.

` _Dammit, stop stop stop it!!!!_` He seriously hoped you could will a blush away (though he knew you can’t). He heard arguing voices approaching and he prayed nobody would notice.

“Seriously hyung, somebody could’ve been in here stealing and you’re back there playing games on your iPad? You could get in so much trouble for this!!” He was fussing at a cute boy with plump lips and caramel colored hair.

“Oh whatever,” the boy rolled his eyes at him, “the store’s been empty forever and it’s almost closing time. It’s no big deal!” He went behind the register and turned it on.

“Well at least you were smart enough to turn the register off.”

“Shut up!” He stuck out his tongue at him before he noticed Changhyun, “Hey who’s your friend?”

“Oh this is my new friend Changhyun hyung. Changhyun hyung, this idiot over here is Daniel hyung.” He pointed at him.

He rolled his eyes at him again, “Anyways, nice to meet you!” he said with a big smile.

Changhyun nodded, “Likewise!”

“So what the hell are you even doing here tonight? I thought Minah noona was working?”

“Well,” he said as he began ringing up their items, “I’m……..sorta covering for her tonight.”

“AGAIN? Damn hyung, why don’t you just ask her out already?” Jonghyun said with a chuckle.

Daniel only replied with their total and a glare (it was a sore subject for him). Jonghyun just laughed at him and pulled out his wallet.

“Here you go hyung.” He said while handing him the money (with an amused look on his face).

“Just take your stuff and go!” He snatched the money out of his hands while still glaring.

Jonghyun just chuckled and picked up the bags and started towards the door, he lightly hit Daniel on the shoulder as he went by, “Call me okay?” the other nodded in response.

Changhyun exchanged waves with Daniel before walking out the door. He went to his side of the car and waiting for the other to unlock it.

“Hey hold on a sec,” Jonghyun ran back up to the store, popped his head in the door and yelled out “she probably needed you to cover for her so she could go out on a date!!” He giggled like a crazy person and ran over to unlock and open Changhyun’s door.

“That was mean!” He couldn’t help but laugh a little as he got in.

“Aw, it’s nothing. I’m sure you joke with your friends like that too right?” He closed the door then got in the driver’s side after throwing the bags in the back seat.

“Um, yeah sure.” He said quietly, turning to look out the window.

Jonghyun noticed the sadness in his voice. He wanted to know why but then decided against it. It would be better to wait till he’s warm and fed. Then hopefully he could find out what is making this beautiful creature (that he may have already fallen for) so damn sad.


	6. Getting To Know Him

It wasn’t more than fifteen minutes later that Changhyun found himself nervously pacing around Jonghyun’s living room wondering to himself why he was in the home of a complete stranger. He felt bad about how quiet he’d been the ride there and even after they arrived. The whole time the other boy was constantly trying to engage him in conversation. All he could muster up is a _“Nice place”_. He learned that he lived there with his friend that was quite a bit older than him, and was currently out with his girlfriend. Changhyun wasn’t sure if that relieved him or made him more nervous.

He walked into the kitchen where Jonghyun currently was and saw him pre-heating the oven to cook his _“lovely dinner”_ as he called it. He looked up at his nervous guest as he walked in and smiled at him.

“It shouldn’t take too long hyung.”

“Oh okay.” He looked down. Jonghyun noticed that he did that a lot.

“Hey if you need to use the bathroom or anything there’s one down the hall,” he pointed in which direction, “it’s the first door to your right.”

“Okay, thank you.” He left to use the bathroom. After he was done he looked at himself in the mirror for a while and as usual hated what he saw. Too short, too skinny, too pale, and on top of that his hair looked horrible.

“Ugh,” he said out loud.  But it wasn’t like there was anything he could do about it. So he just sighed and went back out into the living room. Jonghyun had turned the tv on and was pouring them drinks.

“I hope iced tea is okay. If not I have coke or water.” He said with a smile.

Changhyun liked his smile. It was sweet and warm and it made him feel less nervous. Well a little bit, “Tea is fine, thank you.”

There was more awkward silence until the pizzas were ready. Jonghyun had been trying his best to keep his distance seeing how nervous the gorgeous boy in his living room was. He couldn’t blame him though, it must’ve felt pretty scary to be so vulnerable around someone you didn’t know. He just hoped he could help him loosen up and feel more comfortable around him.

He came out from the kitchen with two places each with two slices of each kind of pizza and handed the other his as he sat down next to him.

Changhyun didn’t realize just how hungry he was until the hot food was in front of him and he found himself practically inhaling it within seconds.

Jonghyun chuckled at him but said nothing. Changhyun however, was embarrassed at his manners, “Um, sorry. I haven’t eaten all day.”

“That’s cool.” Jonghyun was staring at his place, picking at a piece of pepperoni trying to figure out how he was going to get the other to open up to him without scaring him off. He wasn’t quite as hungry as him so he just quietly picked at his food as he waited for him to finish.

After they were done they brought their plates into the kitchen to discard the uneaten crust and put the plates into the sink.

“Want some ice cream hyung? I got Rocky Road, Mint Chocolate Chip, Butter Pecan, and Cookies & Cream.” Jonghyun asked him as he opened the freezer door.

“Um, I’ll take the Rocky Road.”

“Good choice!” He smiled and handed it to him, “I’m gonna start with the Cookies & Cream”.

He got them spoons and then went back into the living room and starting eating their ice cream. Jonghyun wasn’t sure if there was a perfect time to start talking but they already spent most of their time at his place in awkward silence so he figured now was as good a time as any.

“So,” he started, “is there anywhere you want me to take you when we’re finished eating? Like maybe a friend’s house?”

“Well…..I don’t really have any friends.” Changhyun said quietly while looking down at his ice cream.

“Oh okay then. Well how about your parents?” The boy didn’t answer. He just kept looking down and poked at his ice cream with his spoon.

“Hyung, don’t tell me you don’t have parents either?” He looked at him surprised.

“I do. Well I have a father. But………..” he sighed before continuing, “he’s not really somebody I can go to when I need help.”

“Damn, I’m sorry.” Jonghyun wished he could think of something better to say to that.

Changhyun just shrugged, “It’s okay, it’s nothing new. I’ve known for quite some time that he hates me.”

“Hate? Wow that’s a strong word. Why does he hate you?” He scooted a bit closer to the other hoping that he wouldn’t notice.

“Because I’m worthless and I can’t do anything right.” He said with another sigh.

“What makes you think that?”

He turned to look Jonghyun in the eye, “I’m quoting him directly.”

Jonghyun was at a loss for words, “Wow.”

“The reason for that is I’m not like him,” Changhyun continued, “he spent my whole life trying to make me into his clone instead of treating me like a son. But that’s not who I wanted to be.”

“Wow, he’s really that bad huh?”

“He’s selfish, self-centered, and I hate how he treats people. All he cares about is his business. Making money is all that matters to him and he doesn’t what he has to do and who he does it to to make that happen.”

“Sounds like a real asshole.” The other nodded at him. “I bet he wasn’t too happy about you wanting to be your own man and all.”

“Nah, he got on me about it all the time. And when I was going to move out and stop working for him he warned me that if I did he’d totally cut me off.”

“So he doesn’t even pay for school?” Jonghyun said in surprise, to which Changhyun shook his head.

“I pay it myself. Student loans and whatever crappy job I can find.” Jonghyun cringed.

“Well what about your mother? What does she think about all this?” He said as he ate the last spoonful of his ice cream.

“I never knew my mother. She’s been gone way before I was old enough to remember her.”

“Oh,” he rubbed his shoulder seeing the sadness that had come over him, “I’m sorry. Can I ask what happened to her?”

Changhyun unexpectedly let out a chuckle and shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t know. Nobody ever told me.”

“Are you serious?”

“My father doesn’t even talk about her. And he always got mad when I tried to bring her up. I can’t even find a damn picture of her!”

Jonghyun didn’t know what to say. Changhyun laughed again and said, “Maybe that’s one of the reasons he hates me so much. Maybe I remind him too much of her.”

“Um, I’ll be right back.” The redhead took their empty pints of ice cream into the kitchen to throw away. He got the other two from the freezer and took a moment take a few deep breaths before going back to his guest. He felt bad that he had no clue what to say to the boy to comfort him. He prayed to whatever was up there that he’d think of something so that he didn’t make a fool of himself.

“Here ya go hyung.” He gave him the mint chocolate chip as he plopped down next to him on the couch.

Changhyun gave him an odd look, “What’s wrong?”

“Well………..I kinda like butter pecan.” He said while giving him a sweet smile (obviously taking advantage of the other’s attraction to him).

Jonghyun narrowed his eyes at him for a moment before taking the unwanted flavor from him and giving him one of his all-time favorites, “You’re lucky I think you’re cute” he added with a wink.

“Thank you.” Changhyun said with a smile. A genuine happy smile that made Jonghyun weak all over, and curse the fact that he wasn’t in a situation where he couldn’t kiss those pretty pink lips of his.

“So,” he started, trying to break his thoughts away from the boys’ lips, “you don’t have any other family?”

“Nope, my grandparents are dead and I have an uncle I’ve never met.”

“Wow, how have you not met your uncle?”

“Well from what I gather, my grandfather was a lot like my father he left home a long time ago and hasn’t had much contact with my father for a very long time. Probably for the same reasons as me.”

“Oh I see, I guess history repeated itself then.” Changhyun nodded in reply, he never really thought of it that way before. “Have you ever tried to find him?”

“Actually that’s kind of the reason I moved here. You see, he left for America and lived there for like 15+ years. But he came back to Korea a year ago and started up another branch of his company here in town.” Changhyun ate a spoonful of ice cream too fast and  grabbed his head as the agonizing brain freeze took hold of him.

“You okay hyung?” He asked him as he tried to hold back a laugh.

Changhyun hit his arm, “Yah, stop laughing at me! It’s not funny!” Though he was laughing too.

“Sorrrrrrry!” He grinned at him, “How come you haven’t tried to meet him yet?”

“I dunno, nerves I guess. I’m worried what he’d think considering how far he’s gone to be away from anything that has to do with my “family”,” he said with actual air quotes, “plus, I’m worried he might not like me.”

“I like you.” Jonghyun stated.

“Thanks,” the other replied while rolling his eyes (yet with a smile).

Changhyun didn’t know why exactly he was spilling his life’s story to this stranger. For some reason he felt so comfortable and at ease around him, no matter how hard he tried to keep his guard up. And also it felt nice to have somebody that was actually interested in learning about him. God knows Jongdae never asked.

They finished their ice cream and put the empty pints on the table. It was then when Jonghyun turned his body so that he was facing him, that Changhyun noticed just how close he was. He became nervous again.

“Sooooo……” He started.

“Sooooo?” Changhyun repeated.

“Tell me about this boyfriend of yours.”


	7. The Day Ends..... (The Previous One Cont.)

“Why?” Changhyun asked him, hoping to move away from him a bit (he was right next to the arm of the chair).

“Well, I’m just curious. And I wanna know more about my competition.” He said with a smirk.

“What exactly makes you think you’re any competition?” The older boy said while looking him up and down.

Jonghyun grabbed his chest as if he were hurt, “Aww come on! You treat me like this after I give you my favorite ice cream? Hyung’s so mean to me.” He pretended to cry.

Changhyun laughed and shook his head at him, “You’re an idiot.”

“I know.” Jonghyun replied with a grin. “So, what’s the crappy job you’re working at now hyung? I hope it’s at least better than mine.”

“Well, actually I don’t have one right now. I kinda got fired from my last one.”

“Damn that sucks.” Jonghyun replied to him as he put his feet up on the coffee table and laid back against the couch cushions.

“Yeah, that’s why I moved in with my boyfriend, I couldn’t afford living on my own anymore.” `_Why did I just tell him that???_`

“Oh I see. And he helps you with school too?” Changhyun simply nodded as he to made himself more comfortable on the couch.

“I guess you’re lucky to have him.”

“Yeah, real lucky.” `_Something he never lets me forget._` He thought to himself bitterly. He hoped to change the subject, “So are you an only child?”

“Nope,” he sat up and got his wallet off the coffee table. He opened it up, pulled out a picture, and handed it to Changhyun, “that’s my annoying little sister.”

“She’s cute!” He smiled at the little girl in the photo, “That’s your mom? She’s really beautiful.” Changhyun couldn’t help but feel a little jealous at the closeness in the family photo.

“Yeah, she is. She’s really awesome.” Jonghyun beamed, it was easy to tell how much he loved his family.

“What about your father?” Changhyun asked when he noticed it was just the three of them in the picture.

“He died a long time ago.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry.” He felt bad for asking.

“It’s okay,” He said as he took picture and put it back in his wallet, “I was really little at the time so I don’t remember a whole lot about him.”

“But,” he paused for a second to keep his composure, “he was a good man. And he loved us a lot.” Jonghyun knew he had failed at hiding how choked up he was starting to get. He hated getting emotional, it made him feel weak.

Changhyun reached over and gave his hand a squeeze. It was all he could think of to do to comfort him. He looked so sad and vulnerable at that moment, which was a huge contrast to the cool confident guy he met earlier that night.

Thankfully for Jonghyun his vulnerable moment was interrupted (though he did like Changhyun touching him) by his phone ringing.

He picked his phone up and saw who it was, “It’s my roommate!” he told the other before answering, “Minsoo hyung, what’s up?”

“Jonghyun-ah! Hey, I’m just calling to let you know I won’t be coming home tonight. I’m staying at Jiyeon’s tonight.”

He overheard the girl giggling on the other end, “Yah, hyung why’d you let her drink so much?”

“Hey it’s not my fault she can’t……..” he was interrupted when she asked him who he was talking to.

“JONGIIEEEEE-YAH!!! HI BABY!!” She shrieked with joy.

Jonghyun laughed as he pulled the phone back from her loudness, “Noona, take good care of hyung tonight okay? Don’t hurt him!”

“Jongieeeeee you naughty boy!!” She giggled.

“I’m so gonna kick your ass for that tomorrow!” Minsoo said to him in mock anger.

“Haha yeah sure hyung, whatever. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” And with that he hung up.

He saw Changhyun laughing as he put the phone down, “You heard that huh?”

“Are you kidding? I bet they heard her all the way in the north pole!” He laughed some more.

“Yeah, she’s only like that when drinking though. She’s actually pretty quiet otherwise. And very sweet too.”

“Have they been together long?” Changhyun asked him right before he let out a big yawn.

“Yeah kinda, around five or six months now. Are you tired hyung? Let me go find you something to sleep in.” He got up and walked towards his bedroom.

“Um, okay thanks.” He had been trying not to think much about the possibility of having to sleep in a stranger’s home. But by now it just felt pointless to try going home again. Though for some reason he didn’t think of Jonghyun as a stranger. And he didn’t feel as apprehensive about being alone with the other as he had earlier.

The boy came back with a t-shirt and sweatpants inside, “Here you go hyung. I’m sure it’ll fit you.”

“Thanks.” He took the clothes and went into the bathroom to change. When he came out, the other had a pillow and a blanket on the couch waiting for him.

“I was gonna offer you my bed, but I didn’t think you’d feel comfortable sleeping with someone you just met.” He said with a smirk.

Changhyun’s mouth dropped open and he reached out to smack the redhead’s arm.

“OW? What? I just said I didn’t think you’d feel comfortable sleeping in a stranger’s bed! Damn, no need to get violent.” He pouted as he rubbed his abused arm.

“That’s NOT what you said, you jerk.” He tried acting angry but his smile gave it away. He hated to admit but the boy’s sense of humor had already grown on him.

“Well goodnight hyung. Let me know if you need anything okay?”

“Okay, I will. Goodnight.” He rolled his eyes and then smiled at him as he made himself comfortable on the couch.

Jonghyun turned the lights off and started towards his room, “Help yourself if you get thirsty or need a snack or whatever.”

“Okay thanks.” Changhyun laid down and covered himself up. He didn’t realize just how exhausted he was. He was already starting to doze off until he heard the other yell from the hallway………..

“I’m making sure to lock my door in case you get the urge to have another violent outburst! Or,” he added, “you decide to come and molest me in the middle of the night.”

` _Ugh, he’s so stupid._` Changhyun shook his head and chuckled a bit. Just as he was starting to doze off again……

“On second thought, I like the thought of you molesting me so I’ll just keep it unlocked.”

` _Are you kidding me??_ `

“You know what? Just tell me what your plans are okay? So I can know whether or not to lock my door.”

“Jongie-yah shut the hell up and go to sleep!!!” He yelled back at him. He heard him laugh then his door close.

` _Holy crap did I call him Jongie? Please tell me he didn’t hear that!_ `

He said a silent prayer to whatever powers that be as he drifted off to sleep.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

_Changhyun nervously watched the as the door opened and his boyfriend stepped through it. And from the look on his face he was pissed._

_“Hey,” he said quietly to him. He got no response. He just hung up his coat and made his way to the bathroom. Probably to take a shower Changhyun presumed._

_He had the food warmed up and on the table when Jongdae came back from his shower. He was already sitting down and the other sat across from him._

_He sat there fidgeting with his hands until he saw his boyfriend start eating. He tried to do the same but he could barely manage to chew thinking about the huge elephant in the room that was about to run him over any second._

` **_Is he gonna start talking or should I?_ ** ` _He had no clue. That was, until he felt the other staring at him. He reluctantly looked up to see the handsome face of his boyfriend glaring daggers right through him._

_If looks could kill, not only would he be dead, but dead, dismembered, and probably put through a meat grinder too._

_He took a deep breath as he opened his mouth, “Jongdae, are you still mad?” Yeah it was stupid, but it was the only thing his terrified brain could think of at that moment._

_“What the fuck do you think?” He yelled as he slammed his fork down on his plate (it made Changhyun jump)._

_“Jongdae, nothing hap….”_

_“Bullshit!! I know what I saw!”_

_“He asked me for my notes and that was all I……..”_

_“You know, this fucking pisses me off so much,” he went on like Changhyun hadn’t said a thing, “after all I do for you! I put you through school, give you a place to live, provide for you…..”_

_“Yes I know! You do so much for me, and that’s why I’d never cheat on you.” He reached out to place his hand on top of the other’s (it was hard though, his hand was shaking), “I appreciate everything you do for me so much…..” he took a deep breath before saying something that made him feel sick inside, “I’d be nothing without you……..I am nothing without you.”_

_This seemed to calm him down. He turned his hand around and gave Changhyun’s a small squeeze and then brought it to his lips to kiss it, “Good, I’m glad you feel that way.”_

_As Changhyun was starting to pull his hand back, Jongdae’s grip tightened on it. To the point it was starting to hurt._

_He narrowed his eyes at him and said, “I don’t EVER want you talking to him again you understand? Or so help me……..”_

_“I won’t!” Changhyun quickly said to him, “I promise!”_

_“Good boy.” He said before he finally let his hand go and went back to eating._

_They finished dinner in silence and then went to bed early. As he lay in bed he felt the other move close to him. He tensed up and nervously bit his lower lip as he pulled him close and wrapped an arm around him._

_But not long after, he heard snoring coming from his boyfriend’s lips. He let out a sigh of relief when he realized that cuddling was the only thing he wanted to do that night._

_He drifted off into yet another restless sleep feeling thankful that the outcome of that day’s events wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been._


	8. Home Again

“Ugh,” Jonghyun groaned in annoyance as his noisy alarm went off. He reached over and hit it until it finally shut up. As he was about to drift back off to sleep he suddenly remembered the beautiful boy sleeping on his cough. He got out of bed and slowly tiptoed out his room and down the hallway that led to the living room.

He peeked his head around the corner and saw that Changhyun was fast asleep. He knew he shouldn’t but still he quietly crept closer to him, he just wanted a better look. The boy was beautiful. Even more beautiful than he was last night. The urge to curl up next to him, and wrap his arms around him were overwhelming. But he knew he couldn’t. He hated that he couldn’t.

And he hated that he felt that way because it made no sense at all. You can’t fall for someone you don’t even know, things like that don’t happen in real life. But it had and he knew it. There was something about Changhyun that captured him the moment they met. He knew it was serious because any other time he’d have given up the moment he knew he wouldn’t be getting into his pants that night. It wasn’t just physical, no matter how much he wished it were.

Changhyun was shy yet witty, mature yet innocent, intelligent as hell, and Jonghyun couldn’t ever remember seeing someone so gorgeous, sexy, and cute in his entire life. The boy was perfect in every way and he hated it. He hated how he loved it and what it was already doing to him. And what he hated the most is that soon it would be gone. Changhyun would go home to his boyfriend, and possibly out of his life forever.

He tried to put those thoughts out of his head as he crept back out the living room and into the bathroom to shower and brush his teeth. After he was done with that plus getting dressed he made his way to the living room again. The boy was still sleep. He knew it was time to get up but he couldn’t make himself disturb him. So he hoped the smell of breakfast cooking would do it for him.

Which did the trick, because it wasn’t too long after he started that he saw a sleepy Changhyun poke his messy head into the kitchen.

“Good morning hyung. Did you sleep well?” Jonghyun asked him with a smile as he was mixing pancake batter.

Changhyun yawned and rubbed his eyes, “Yeah, I slept okay.” More than okay actually. It was the first peaceful night’s sleep he’d gotten in a long time. It was nice to go to sleep without worrying about a drunken boyfriend pouncing on you in the middle of the night.

“Hey if you want, you can go take a shower while I make breakfast. I think there’s an unopened toothbrush under the sink.”

“Yeah that sounds nice, thank you.” He went into the living room to get his clothes that he folded up the night before and went to the bathroom to shower. After showering, changing clothes, and brushing his teeth he tried his best to make his hair look as normal as he could. Last thing he wanted was to go home to Jongdae looking like spent the night sleeping. That wouldn’t end well.

After he was done he came out to find that breakfast was done and Jonghyun already had his plate on the table. He had made pancakes, bacon, and sausage, and it all looked delicious.

“You really didn’t have to do all this Jongie-yah.” He said as he sat down at the table (mentally scolding himself for using the nickname from last night).

Jonghyun never realized before just how beautiful that nickname had sounded, “It’s nothing hyung. I hope you like it.”

“Oh it’s great!” He said with a mouth full of food (he again scolded himself for his bad manners). “I didn’t know you could cook.”

“Well, ya know, I’m good at a lot of things.” He said with a wink.

Changhyun rolled his eyes at the innuendo and threw his balled up napkin at him.

“Haha, sorry! That’s kind of a bad habit of mine.” Changhyun only rolled his eyes at him again. They made small talk until they finished eating and then gathered the dirty dishes to put in the sink.

“So um,” Changhyun felt awkward all of a sudden, “I should probably get going now.”

“Oh yeah, of course. Let me go grab my keys.”

“Jonghyun you really don’t have to take me home, you’ve already done enough for me.”

“Naw, it’s okay, I don’t mind. I’ll be right back.” He then left towards his room.

Changhyun had started to think about what he was going to tell his boyfriend when he got home. Though it was ridiculous to him, because none of it was even his fault to begin with. But still he knew better than to think any of that would matter. Changhyun sat down on the couch as he rubbed his temples. He had felt so much peace since he came home with Jonghyun last night and now it was slowly fading away.

And part of that was from knowing he’d probably never see the other again. He already had a boyfriend so he couldn’t date him. And why would he want to just be his friend when he wanted more? At least he seemed like he did……` _He’s way out of my league anyways._` Plus, there’s no way in hell he could ever be friends with him anyways, Jongdae would probably strangle him if he even tried.

Jonghyun came back out with his keys in hand, “I’m ready, let’s go hyung!” He said as he started towards the door, but Changhyun had lightly grabbed his arm before he reached it. His heart started racing as that hand slid down his arm to grab his hand.

“Hey, um,” Jonghyun stepped closer to him and whatever Changhyun had in mind to say somehow got lost in the redhead’s chocolate brown eyes, “I just wanna, you know, say thanks. For…………everything.”

Jonghyun smiled at him and squeezed his hand, “You don’t need to thank me. I’m just glad I could be there for you.” He began rethinking decision not to kiss him. Why not? It’s not like he’d be seeing him again. He stepped even closer so that there was hardly any space between them. An adorable blush spread across the boy’s face but he neither moved back nor pushed him away, so he took that as a green light.

` _Oh my God, is he gonna kiss me?_` Changhyun couldn’t move………..though he wasn’t sure he wanted to.

Jonghyun had barely started to lean in when suddenly there was a loud click. He turned to see the door open and his roommate walk in.

“Uh, hey hyung.” He greeted him as he quickly stepped back from Changhyun and let go of his hand. “Um……is Jiyeon noona doing okay?”

“Ha, yeah once she stopped throwing up.” He flinched as she came up behind him and pinched his arm.

“Pabo, don’t lie on me! I did NOT throw up Jongie. I can hold my liquor pretty well thank you very much!” She sent a glare Minsoo’s way before noticing Changhyun, “Oh hi there!! Jongie, who’s your cute friend?” Changhyun blushed at her words.

“Yeah Jonghyun-ah, who’s your friend?” He repeated her question with a raised eyebrow.

“I’m Yoo Changhyun,” he said with a bow, “it’s nice to meet you.”

“Same here, so where do you know Jonghyun from?” He was eyeing them both suspiciously.

“Well, I um…..”

“School,” Jonghyun chimed in, “he’s uh, in my class”. “We have to get going now, I need to drop him off at home, come on hyung.” He grabbed Changhyun’s hand and quickly dragged him out the door. He was pretty sure Minsoo suspected that Changhyun spent the night (in a less than innocent way) and he didn’t want him asking any embarrassing questions.

“School?” Changhyun asked him once they were inside the car.

“Well, it was the best thing I could think of!” The other replied while buckling his seat belt as Changhyun did the same, “He shouldn’t be so damn nosey.”

“You can’t blame him for asking, I mean I am a stranger in his house.”

“Please, you don’t know how many times I’ve come home to “strangers” he’s left there. And usually I’m the one who ends up taking them home!”

“Oh……I see. Sorry.” Changhyun didn’t exactly know what he was apologizing for, but the other boy seemed like he was getting upset.

As Jonghyun put the car in drive and pulled out his parking space, he turned for a quick glance at Changhyun. He was looking down at his shirt and picking at various pieces of lint he found there. He immediately felt like a total asshole for making the boy feel uncomfortable (though he found that nervous habit of his absolutely adorable). He prayed that he didn’t ruin the few moments he had left with him.

“Hey,” Changhyun looked up at him, “so you want me to take you straight home?”

“Yes please. Do you remember the way?”

“Pshh, of course I remember the way! I’m not THAT useless.” He stuck his tongue out at him.

“You’re going down the wrong street.” Changhyun said with a smirk.

“What?”

“I live the opposite way, down that way,” he pointed in that direction, “you went down the wrong street pabo.”

It took a few moments of him checking the street signs, remembering the way he went last night, and checking the signs again before it really set in that the boy was right, “Son of a bitch!!” He yelled in frustration, “You know you could’ve said something sooner!”

Changhyun laughed at him as he cursed a few more times while looking for a place to turn around at.

“I guess you’re more useless than you thought huh?” Changhyun said with an impossibly wide grin on his face.

“Shut up.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Jongdae still wasn’t home when Changhyun got there. But he still kept his goodbyes with Jonghyun quick just in case. He didn’t have a key but he managed to find their landlord on property and she was more than happy to let him in his apartment when he told her he locked himself out.

He took a quick shower, got changed, and began the doing the household chores. As busy as he was trying to keep himself, it wasn’t doing much to keep a certain redhead out of his head. His smile, his laugh, his dumb humor………..his lips…….` _Shut up!!!_` He tried telling his brain. It usually listened to him, but not this time.

` _Just a few more minutes……._` He thought as he vacuumed the floor. He wondered what would have happened if his roommate had come home just a few minutes later. `_Was he really gonna kiss me?_` It sure seemed like it.

He tried not to wonder what it would’ve felt like, he really missed being like that with someone. It wasn’t that Jongdae never kissed him, but when he did it was usually for a specific reason (especially after he moved in). That reason was usually sex and he hardly ever kissed him during the act which left him feeling empty and used.

` _“I’m just glad I could be there for you.”_` He recalled the redhead saying to him as he washed the few dishes for yesterday morning (there was none from dinner for obvious reasons). He didn’t know if he meant it or not (he had a feeling that he did though), but just those words alone meant so much to him.

Nobody has ever said they wanted to be there for him, let alone actually BE there. And the way his hand felt when he held it, so warm and gentle. And being that close to him; looking into his eyes, felt so…………….intimate. More intimate than every time he’s slept with his boyfriend combined.

And then there’s that cologne of his………..he stopped for a second as he contemplated smashing Jongdae’s favorite blue mug into tiny little pieces. Of course he wouldn’t actually do it, but still it was a nice thought. He sighed and rinsed out the spared mug before putting it in the dish washer and turning it on.

As he went to collect a week’s worth of laundry, his thoughts drifted back to Jonghyun and his sexy smelling cologne. The memory of wearing his jacket at the grocery store last night came back to him, and he couldn’t help but laugh at himself.

` _I can’t believe I did that._` He thought as he remembered sniffing the boy’s jacket hoping that he wouldn’t get caught. `_So stupid._` But he really couldn’t help himself.

All of a sudden he had a thought. He stopped during his task of gathering the dirty laundry from the hamper in the bedroom and walked over to the dresser in the corner. He picked up the half empty cologne bottle (half of which was probably sprayed on him at one time), took the top off, sprayed a bit into the cap and took a whiff. He grimaced; it was nowhere near the sexy sent from the other boy.

He began contemplating the thought of throwing it out the window and watching the nasty sent (which gets all over him when his boyfriend is trying to…………well, get all over him) smash into a zillion bits and pieces until he heard the front door open.

He put the spared bottle back on the dresser and dragged the collected laundry out into the living room.

“Changhyun?” Jongdae seemed surprised to see him.

“Mrs. Hwang let me in.” He knew that’s what Jongdae was wondering, seeing how he didn’t have a key and all.

“Where were you baby? I looked for you last night but I couldn’t find you.” He walked up behind Changhyun and put his arms around him.

` _Liar._` Which made Changhyun not feel bad in the least about the lie he was about to tell, “I was in the laundry room. They forgot to lock it again so I stayed in there.” He seemed to buy it.

He turned him around to face him and cradled his face in his hands, “I’m glad you’re okay baby.” He pressed a soft kiss onto his lips and held him in his arms. The tender moment only made Changhyun tense up. Sweet moments like this were only for one reason and one reason only, to lure him into a false sense of security (that effect wore off a long time ago).

He let him go and sat down on the couch after grabbing the remote from the arm of the chair. Changhyun had grabbed the detergent from under the sink and a bottle of water out the fridge. After returning to the living room, he handed the water to Jongdae and some quarters from the nearby coin jar.

He looked around to make sure he had everything he needed and began towards the door.

“Remember what we talked about last night okay?” Jongdae called out to him.

“Yeah,” he replied without turning around…………big mistake. Changhyun jumped as he heard a loud noise behind him. Jongdae had thrown the remote down on the coffee table. He turned around to see him get off the couch and slowly walk towards him.

“What was that?” He said in a tone that was no longer sweet and loving, but now low and intimidating.

“I…….I mean, yes. Yes, I…….I remember.” Changhyun backed up till he was against the door, “I’m sorry.”

Jongdae stood there in silence for a few moments, holding his gaze on the boyfriend that was cowering away from him. He reached out to stroke his cheek (which made Changhyun flinch) as he left a kiss on the other one.

“Good boy.” He said as he returned to the couch to watch tv.

Changhyun quickly went outside and closed his eyes for a second as he leaned back against the wall next to their front door. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself before he sadly made his way toward their complex’s laundry room.

Wishing all the way there that he could relive last night and once again be in the comforting presence of a certain redhead.


	9. Memories

“Ouch!! Hyung, what the hell?” Jonghyun exclaimed as he sat up in his chair and rubbed the spot on the back of his head that his friend had just assaulted.

“Well next time you keep your fat face out the way while I’m cleaning my bar.” The older boy said as he pulled an antibacterial wipe from its container and wiped the bar clean.

“Why are you still here anyways? Don’t you have to work today?” Chanhee asked him as he walked around cleaning off the tables in the bar.

“I don’t have to be at work for another few hours.” The bored teen replied while casually following his friend around like his shadow (which was getting on his nerves).

The older finally had enough after turning around and bumping into for the fifth time, “Look if you have to be here then you’re helping me clean up!” He put down the container of wipes, walked to the back room and came out with a sweeper.

“Here,” he shoved it in Jonghyun’s hands, “get all those crumbs and shit off the floor.”

Jonghyun shrugged, “Okay”.

Chanhee stared at the boy in confusion when he made no fuss and actually started sweeping the floor. He decided to test him, “Hey after you’re done with that I need you to throw the trash out for me.”

“Yeah sure hyung.”

Something was wrong, “And after that I want you to help me clean the restrooms. I think someone threw up in there last night.”

“Yeah, okay.”

Now he was sure of it, “Okay? Did you not here what I just said?”

“Yeah I heard you. What’s the problem?” The boy frowned at him.

“Why don’t you tell me? Eunjung noona’s been telling me how you’ve been moping around here the past week. And you’re all mopey today too! What’s your deal?”

“It’s…………nothing.” He said with his back turned to Chanhee.

“Nothing? You’re actually helping me clean and you don’t even clean up after your own damn self!”

Jonghyun only shrugged his response.

“This wouldn’t have anything to do with a certain lil cutie you were chattin up last week?” Chanhee said with a smirk.

Jonghyun froze for a moment while he tried to think up a clever reply “…………no.” He was about to take Chanhee’s silence as a sign he was done with his questions when he looked up and yelped in surprise (louder than he’d ever admit to anyone) to find his friend right in his face.

“Yah!” Jonghyun yelped, and jumped back.

Chanhee snickered at him, “Wow must’ve been pretty good.”

“Say what?” The redhead was confused.

“Oh come on now, I know you took him home with you that night! You think I wouldn’t find out? Psssh, baby I know EVERYTHING.” The older crossed his arms in front of his chest at stared a hole through his friend.

“Ugh, dammit who told you?” Jonghyun said as he flopped down at one of the tables and banged his head on it.

“Ji noona of course,” he took the seat across from the boy, “you know that girl can’t keep her mouth shut. Though for Minsoo hyung that’s actually one of her good qualities.”

Jonghyun looked up at him and rolled his eyes as the other laughed at his own joke (he always does.

“Look hyung it’s not like that.”  He bit his plump bottom lip and stared down at his hands, “He’s not like that.”

“Meaning?” He motioned for him to continue on.

“Meaning, we talked, I made him frozen pizza, and he slept on my couch.”

“That’s it?” Chanhee was in disbelief.

“That’s it.”

An idea suddenly popped into the elder’s head, “So nothing happened at all?” Jonghyun shook his head, “Funny, I honestly thought you did him. I mean, he seemed like the type and all.”

Jonghyun’s eyes got big and he immediately stood up, “You shut the fuck up hyung! You don’t know a damn thing about him!” He yelled while pointing his finger in Chanhee’s face, “He’s not like that okay? He’s decent and actually has some fucking class unlike you!”

The purple headed boy burst out in laughter (not even phased by the insult), only making his friend more confused than he was earlier, “What the hell?”

“Oh my God did you see your face?? I thought your eyes were gonna pop out your big ass head!!” He laughed harder and Jonghyun just stood there with a very big pout on his face.

“Sit down pabo.” Chanhee reached out and pulled the boy’s arm so that he was in the chair next to him and put an arm around him, “You really like this guy don’t you?” He said to him with a grin.

“Hyung he has a boyfriend.” He told him with a sad look on his face.

“So?” Chanhee questioned him with a shrug.

“A boyfriend that he lives with.”

“Wait, if he lives with him then what’s he doing in a bar at night? And what’s he doing sleeping at your place?”

“I don’t know for sure, he didn’t tell me but……I think he may have gotten locked out. And not by accident.”

“Oh,” he thought for a while, “what else do you know about this guy?”

“Nothing really, he didn’t say much and I didn’t ask. Hyung, he just seemed so sad and lonely. I mean, he’s got no mother, a dad that hates him, he lost his job, he’s struggling through school, and I don’t think he’s got any friends either.”

 “Wow,” was all Chanhee could say. Jonghyun sighed and things got quiet as they were both lost in thought.

“Hyung?” He said snapping the elder out of his thoughts. He really hoped his older friend could give him some kind of advice over his dilemma.

“Hey um………we’ll talk more about this later. I have more work to do here. And speaking of work, you gotta go get your fatass ready for it!” He got up pulling up the other with him.

“But hyung….” Chanhee just turned him towards the door and gave him a swat on his behind.

“Get going! I said we’ll talk later okay?”

Jonghyun sighed, “Okay.” He pouted and grumbled as he walked out the door.

Chanhee locked the door and made his way back to the bar. He froze for a while as he tried his best to remember what else he had to do. It was a routine he had done night after night for over a year, yet his brain was failing him. It was hard to concentrate when he was thinking so much about the baby faced boy that his dongsaeng was crushing on.

As he finally began to remember what he needed to do, he cursed at himself. For being so pre-occupied with a certain blonde and with getting off work that he didn’t see it. The loneliness, the pain, the emptiness that was in the big brown eyes of the kid he gave the cranberry juice too.

A pang of guilt knotted in his stomach as he got everything ready for opening. He thought about what Jonghyun had told him as he greeted the first patron of the day, and the knot got tighter. The situation was all too familiar for him.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” He asked the patron who repeated his drink order.

He knew it was going to be a long day. And he wondered if he could stay focused enough to get through it as he fought back the painful memories that were creeping their way back into his head. Memories he wished he could forget.


	10. He Remembered

Changhyun sighed as he looked through their fridge and cabinets trying to figure out what to make for dinner. He knew his boyfriend would be pissed if he gave him leftovers, or even made something they had recently (it had to be different every single night). Even if it was as recent as the previous week.

He sighed again and hit his head on the freezer door as he realized his predicament and what he had to do about it. He slowly made his way out of the kitchen and towards the bathroom his boyfriend was currently in. Instead of going in the open door, he opted for leaning against the wall right outside, one thing he hated doing was looking him in the eye when he had to ask for something.

“Jongdae?”

“What?” He already sounded annoyed.

Changhyun opened his mouth but no words came out. He hated how this made him feel.

“What do you want Changhyun?” Annoyance was sounding a lot more like anger now.

“Um, well I was hoping we could go to the store……….I need a few things for dinner.” He chewed on his bottom lip as he waited for a reply.

“Don’t worry about dinner, I’m going out.” He replied flatly.

Chanhyun got up the nerve to pop his head into the bathroom. Jongdae was putting the finishing touches on his hair with a comb and then began spraying 20 pounds of hairspray on top (which made Changhyun cough). He was dressed up a pair of dark gray jeans (more expensive than they were worth) and a black button down shirt (that Changhyun himself had ironed that day).

“Oh, you’re leaving?” For a night of clubbing, and drinking he presumed. And for screwing whatever whore he could find (that’s always been what he assumed the reason was for Jongdae almost never bringing him along).

The other turned to glare at him, “That’s what I just said didn’t I?” He stomped out of the bathroom towards the bedroom (bumping into Changhyun on the way) to bathe himself in too much of that dreaded non-sexy cologne as Changhyun followed behind trying to get his words together while feeling like he had two feet cut off his already small height.

“I………….I really do need to go though. I don’t have anything good to fix you later.” Because a drunk Jongdae coming home at 4am needed what he deemed a decent meal or snack or else there would be hell to pay.

“I told you, I’m going out. And I’m taking the car. What part of that don’t you freaking get?” Changhyun shrunk another five inches as he pushed past him (again) to get his leather jacket out of the closet. And as he left to go to the living room, an idea popped into the boy’s head.

He walked up behind the other (yet still keeping his distance) who was checking his wallet to make sure he had everything he needed before leaving.

“I could walk. There’s actually a store just down the street from here.” He mentally crossed his fingers.

Jongdae sighed in annoyance and pulled out one of his cards from his wallet (one that he wouldn’t be needed), “Yeah whatever, here.” He shoved it into his hands.

“Um………..” Changhyun started.

“What now??”

“Can I have a key please? I don’t wanna leave the place unlocked.”

“Ugh, fine.” He pulled out an extra key and practically threw it at him in his hurry to get out the door.

“Thank you.” His boyfriend was out the door before he could even say bye to him. Sure, the time he got to spend alone was nice and peaceful but still………….at times, stuff like that still stung a bit. He couldn’t help but wonder if Jongdae was that anxious to go out, or if he was that horrible to be alone with.

~~~~~~~

 

Changhyun was feeling nervous. Not like before when he didn’t want to face his boyfriend. But a different kind of nervous. He told himself it was because of the fact that it was already dark out and because he was worried he’d forgotten where the store was.

And he told himself again once the store came into view. And when he saw a familiar car in the parking, lot that feeling got stronger and traveled down to the pit of his stomach. He told himself that it was because of the convenience store nachos he had that afternoon.

 He took a deep breath before opening the door and stepping inside. He looked around and saw that like last time, it was nearly empty.

“Hi!” He was greeted by a pretty raven haired girl with an excited wave and an infectious smile that instantly made him smile back, “Welcome! I’m Minah, let me know if you need help finding anything!”

“I will, thank you!”

“Can I get you a cart sir?” She asked him with the same big smile on her face.

“Oh no thank you, I don’t need one.”

“Okay well here then.” She handed him a basket.

“Thanks!”

“You’re very welcome!” And with that she bounced off to the produce area of the store.

` _I wish I could be that happy all the time._` He thought as he wandered through various isles, not really sure what he was there for. Well, he knew the real reason he was there, just not the fake one he wanted to convince himself of.

In the refrigerated section, he grabbed some cheese and smoked turkey meat and threw it in the basket.

`` _I’ll just fix him a damn sandwhich._`` He wasn’t in the mood to care about whatever consequences would come from giving him something so simple. Just then, he heard somebody coming from the back. His heart started racing and he clutched his basket like his life depended on it.

It was Daniel. He pouted, until they made eye contact and he waved at him. He was surprised the boy remembered him seeing as their meeting was so brief all those weeks ago.

 Changhyun thought about the car he saw in the parking lot as he wandered around some more picking up a loaf of bread on the way.

` _I guess it wasn’t his car after all._` He felt kinda stupid not realizing just how many people in the world own the same types of cars.

As he was about to make his way down the canned goods isle he saw there was someone else there after all. Some guy that had his back turned to him, with headphones on, was humming along to TVXQ’s “Catch Me” stocked some shelves at the other end.  He sighed in disappointment as he picked up a can of fruit cocktail and turned to leave.

But right as he was about to, the guy moved to the other shelves on the opposite side, and when he turned to his side Changhyun’s breath caught in his throat.

` _Oh my God it’s him!_` He couldn’t believe he almost didn’t notice him! The once redhead was now a soft golden blond. Changhyun quickly backed out of that isle to run to the next one. He leaned against some packed of ramen as he tried to remember how to breathe.

` _Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God._` He kept saying over and over again in his head.

` _What the hell are you doing? What is wrong with you?_` He mentally scolded himself. He knew that Jonghyun was the reason he came there, and yet here he was hiding from him. His nerves and shyness took over and he seriously contemplated leaving that very moment. But he knew he couldn’t waste a chance like this. It might not come back again.

He peeked around the corner (feeling like an idiot doing so) and the boy had his back to him again.

` _What if he forgot about me? Or what if he doesn’t wanna see me?_` The thought scared him and he wasn’t exactly sure why.

Still, he pushed those thoughts aside and casually (he hoped it looked casual) walked up behind Jonghyun and tapped him on the shoulder. He took off his headphones and placed them around his neck as he turned around.

“Well hey, long time no see.” He said to him, a wide grin spreading across his face as he looked into the beautiful brown eyes of the boy he thought he might never see again.

“Yeah I know. How’ve you been?”

“I’ve been great. Just wasting my life away at this fabulous job of mine and hoping to see my new friend again.” He winked at him, “How’ve you been hyung?”

“Oh, well……I’ve been good. Just going to school and stuff.”

“I see.” Jonghyun frowned a bit as he noticed Changhyun’s eyes leave his as he said this (he could tell he was lying). He decided to say nothing, “So, whatcha got there?” he pointed to the other boy’s basket.

“Oh, I was just getting a few things to make a sandwhich that’s all.”

“Aww, and here I thought you came all the way here just to see me!” He pouted and puffed his cheeks out.

Changhyun rolled his eyes and laughed at him, “Whatever, weirdo. I gotta finish shopping now.” He was about to walk away when Jonghyun grabbed his hand.

“Hey hold up! Lemme help you.” He pulled him outta the isle and in some direction that Changhyun wasn’t paying attention to on account of the goosebumps he was getting all over from the warmth of the other boy’s soft yet strong hand.

He was snapped out of his trance when he felt something heavy thrown into his basket, “Lettuce?”

“Well duh! You need lettuce if you’re gonna make a sandwhich!” He rolled his eyes at him.

“Why can’t I just buy a bag of lettuce instead?”

“Because THIS,” Jonghyun pointed to the sign above, “is fifty cents a pound! And THAT,” he pointed to where the bags of loose lettuce were, “is $3.25 per bag. DUH!”

 “You know, you’re about one DUH away from me kicking you!” Changhyun said with a glare.

“Oooo over here!” He motioned for the other boy to follow, completely ignoring his comment. He then picked up three of some weird looking thing and tossed them in Changhyun’s basket.

“What’s that?” He asked him.

“Ummm,” Jonghyun looked at the sign, “avocadoes!!”

“Why the hell would I need those?”

The blonde looked confused, “Well……..you know……….you could…………hey let’s go grab you some tomatoes!” After getting them, Jonghyun took the liberty to throw in a couple cucumbers as well.

“Oh nice, something I can actually use!”

“Yup, cuz every sandwhich needs pickles!”

Changhyun looked at him like he had tentacles growing out the sides of his head, “Jongie I think the bleach you put in your hair seeped into your brain.”

“What do you mean?”

“These are not pickles they’re cucumbers!!!”

“Yes but they turn into pickles right?”

If anime expressions could be used in real life, the older boy would’ve been on the ground with a giant sweat bead on his head.

“They don’t turn into pickles by themselves pabo! They’re not Pokémon.”

Jonghyun grabbed his heart as if the other had said the most offensive thing in the world to him, “HEY! Pokémon do not evolve by themselves! You have to get to a certain level, gain a certain amount of experience, OR, depending on the type of Pokémon, you can get a Fire Stone, a Leaf Stone or a…………..” He quieted down when he realized he was showing he knew way to much about Pokémon, “or at least that’s what I heard.”

He rolled his eyes at him again, “Oh yeah surrrre. Ash.” He said with a smirk.

“Ash? Did you just call me Ash? Look here hyung, if you’re gonna compare me to any character from that show, it better be Misty or else we’re gonna have some problems!”

After a few seconds of looking at the man like he was out of his mind, Changhyun broke out in laughter and so did Jonghyun.

“You really are an idiot you know that right?”

“Yeah I know.” He replied with a smile and a wink (that made Changhyun blush). “So do you have everything you need hyung?”

“Yeah I think so. I should probably go pay for this now.”

“Oh okay. Let’s go then.” Jonghyun tried to hide how upset he was beginning to feel. As they began walking out of the produce isle, they passed by Minah who was bringing more fruit from out the back.

“You sure you don’t need anything else? The melons here are pretty good. Though small and overpriced.” He smirked while motioning over to the girl who in turn called him a few choice names and threw a potato at his head (which he managed to dodge).

“That was really mean! She’s so gonna kill you for that.” Changhyun exclaimed with a chuckle as he put his items in the check-out lane.

He just shrugged it off, “Naw, don’t worry she’s used to it by now.” He stood nearby and watched Daniel ring everything up (a little too fast for his liking). Due to his nosey nature, he couldn’t help but notice the name on the card Changhyun used to pay for everything. “Kim Jongdae” it read, making him frown in disgust. He wished he knew what the guy looked like so he could go home and write it in his mock Death Note in hopes that it would actually work.

“Thanks have a good evening!”  Daniel said as he handed Changhyun his receipt.

“Thanks, you too!” He grabbed his bags and started towards the door with Jonghyun following behind.

He stopped and turned around as he reached the entrance, “So, I guess I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah I guess so.” But he didn’t want him to leave. Not yet. He tried to think fast for any reason.  “Wait!” He grabbed his arm just as he was opening the door. The boy turned to look at him questioningly. “Umm……” he thought hard,  “I wanna ask you something!”

“Okay what is it?”

“Well,” then it came to him, “I’m about to go on break and I was wondering if you’d keep me company.”

“Jonghyun-ah, I dunno. I kinda need to go home now.” He worried about how long he had been there. Sure, Jongdae had left but there was a small chance he forgot something and came back.

“Pleeeeeeease? It’s just for like 15 minutes!!! Pretty pretty please??”

After a few seconds of begging and some aegyo faces, Changhyun couldn’t help but say yes, “Okay, okay! Just stop doing that, you look ridiculous!”

“Awesome!! Go meet me out by my car! I’ll be out there in a sec!” The older boy nodded in reply and walked out the door. Jonghyun ran over to Daniel who had heard their covo and was looking at him like he was crazy.

“Hyung I……..”

“No.” He said cutting him off before he could finish.

“Oh come on!! Please hyung please!!! I need you to cover for me just for a little bit!”

“No Jonghyun I’m not gonna cover for you just so you can slack off AGAIN.” He crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“You covered for Minah noona just yesterday!” He said poking him in the arm.

“That’s different. I’m not trying to date you!” Daniel poked him back.

“Hyung please, this is really important to me!” He pleaded.

“I already told you no Jonghyun-ah!”

Jonghyun sighed in frustration, he seemed to be getting nowhere with his friend, “First off, I’m really offended at that because I’ve always felt we’ve had a really special connection, plus I'm way prettier than noona is. And secondly,” he paused for a moment before continuing, looking Daniel straight in his eyes, “hyung, I really REALLY like this guy. And if I don’t spend a few more minutes with him, I might never see him again.” He hated how desperate he sounded but he had no other choice.

Daniel was shocked at the emotion in his donsaeng’s voice. He had never seen him like this before.

“Okay fine!! Just make it quick.”

“Oh my God hyung thank you so much!! I owe you big for this!!!” He ran back to the break room and took two spoons he found in a cabinet, then on his way back out stopped by the frozen isle to get two pints of ice cream. He came back to Daniel’s lane, grabbed his handheld scanner and pointed it at the ice cream’s bar codes.

“Hey you can pay for this right??”

“Wait, what??”

“Thanks hyung!!! Love yoooooou!” He ran out before his friend could protest. When he got outside, Changhyun was sitting on the hood of his car waiting for him. He gave him a sweet smile and the blonde felt weak in the knees and worried he wouldn’t make the short walk to him.

“Hey what took you so long?” He asked him as the other hopped up on the hood next to him.

“Sorry bout that. My friend Daniel hyung was just telling me how awesome and good looking he thinks I am. Like usual.” Changhyun rolled his eyes at him again.

“Ice cream?”

“Yup, here you go!” He handed him one of the pints and a spoon.

“Thanks.” Changhyun smiled at him before taking the top off his ice cream, being surprised when he saw that it was butter pecan.

` _Wow, he remembered._` He looked at him and gave him a knowing smile. Jonghyun smiled back and mentally high-fived himself knowing he had scored some major points with the boy he’d quickly fallen for.

They sat and enjoyed each other’s company as they ate. There wasn’t much talking done (other than Jonghyun getting scolded for stealing a spoonful of Changhyun’s ice cream) and it wasn’t long before they were finished and it was time to go.

Changhyun was about to open his mouth when Jonghyun interrupted him, “Hey can I see your phone?”

Changhyun was confused but handed it to him anyways. He watched him as he pressed some buttons and then gave it back to him with a grin on his face.

“What did you do?” He pointed at Changhyun’s contacts (there were few). He immediately saw the new contact in his phone. Yet, it wasn’t under Jonghyun’s name, it was under the name of the store.

“So I guess I’ve been calling you the wrong name huh?” He looked at him with an eyebrow raised.

Jonghyun chuckled, “Well you know I figured I shouldn’t put my name in there. Just in case.” Changhyun didn’t say anything. He couldn’t if he tried. He was too taken aback about how much the other had already figured out about his situation.

They both hopped off the car and before Changhyun could grab his bags, Jonghyun already had them in his strong hands, holding them out to him. He took it and thanked him, shivering at the contact their hands made (for longer than necessary).

“Goodnight hyung.” He said softly as he looked into his eyes.

“Goodnight.” Changhyun said back before he quickly turned and started walking away hoping that his nervousness didn’t show. He turned back when he heard his name being called.

“Hey, if you ever need anything or wanna talk…….” He just pointed at the jacket pocket the boy’s phone was in.

Changhyun just nodded at him with a smile and they parted ways. Both silently hoping that their next meeting would happen sooner than the last.


	11. Pain

Changhyun winced in pain as he turned over on his side and watched his boyfriend get dressed. It seemed almost funny to him how early on in the relationship a day didn’t go by when they didn’t cuddle. Then again, that was before he moved in with him.

As the man pulled on his jacked he tossed a key to Changhyun along with his credit card. Saying nothing else, he left their bedroom and out the front door.

Changhyun wondered if this is what being a hooker felt like.

` _At least they get paid more._` He thought to himself.

Sighing deeply, he pulled his aching body into a sitting position and braced himself for the familiar pain he knew would be shooting up his spine when he stood.

It was always like this when they were intimate. No loving touches, no soft kisses, no sweet nothings being whispered. In Changhyun’s mind that stuff only happened in movies. In real life it was uncomfortable, painful, and after it was over you felt like crap.

He limped his way to the bathroom and turned on the hot water mixed with some cold for the right temperature and stopped up the drain. He anxiously watched as the tub slowly filled with water.

` _At least he used a condom this time._` It wasn’t often that he did though, but at least this time Changhyun had one less thing to worry about.

It wasn’t like he really had any options in this situation. It was either have a huge fight and be belittled along with being reminded all the other does for him and how much he owes him. Or lay down for 15-30 mins and grit his teeth as he’s being used.

The best option he realized is the ladder. When they argue……..and by argue it’s more like Changhyun getting put down and screamed at for an eternity, he can swear he can feel a small piece of himself being amputated from the core of his being. But when Jongdae gets what he wants he’s a happy man. Which results in him either ignoring Changhyun, or praising him in the same manner you’d praise dog that’s learned a new trick. Which, actually ends up making him feel the exact same way.

He wondered as he watched the tub almost fill to the top if the ladder was really the best option after all. Or if it was just the easiest.

He eased himself in the hot water slowly until he was sitting. It felt good. He brought his knees up to his chest and rested his chin on them.

He wished the hot water was able to soothe the pain in his heart like it did his sore muscles.

This wasn’t the life he had wanted for himself. He thought about his mother and wondered if she could see him right now.

` _Pathetic._` That’s how he imagined how he looked in her eyes. Which, coincidently was the same way his father saw him.

He felt himself tensing back up and immediately tried to focus his mind on more pleasant thoughts. Thoughts about his redhead turned blonde friend. He wondered what he was doing at that moment and if he was happy. He wondered if he was hanging out with his nice friends that he had met and if they were having fun together.

He wondered if he had thought about him at all that day.

Changhyun hadn’t realized he was crying until he saw a teardrop splash in the bath water. He wiped away a few tears with one of his wet hands but more followed. He let them fall as he slowly reached for his sponge and some soap to attempt to scrub away the filth he felt covering his body. It may have been invisible to anyone else, but it was there.

After the long bath he wrapped himself in his favorite navy blue towel and went back to the bedroom. He made a disgusted face as he realized he needed to change the now stained sheets. He threw on a t-shirt and some pajamas and made work of changing the bed.

When that was all done he climbed in between the soft sheets and pulled the blanket up to his torso. He wanted to sleep but he was feeling restless. Plus, the urge to cry again was still overwhelming him. He turned to his side and reached for his phone that was charging on the nightstand. Figuring that playing a game would help distract him.

But it seemed his mind had a mind of its own and instead of Angry Birds he was staring at Jonghyun’s phone number under the name “Save-N-Shop”.

 He stared at it for what seemed like forever debating if he should call, text, or do nothing. With a sigh his finger apprehensively pushed the call button and he listened to it ring.

“Yeah?” He heard on the other end after a few rings.

Changhyun opened his mouth but no words came out. He couldn’t understand why he was more nervous talking to him on the phone than he had in person.

“Hello?” Jonghyun said after moments of silence. He pulled the phone away from his ear to look at the number. He didn’t recognize it. Suddenly a thought came across his mind and he prayed it was what he was thinking.

“Changhyun?”

“Uh, yeah.” He replied feeling like a total loser.

Jonghyun wanted to scream at the top of his lungs. He was worried the boy would never contact him, “Hey hyung! What’s up?”

“Oh nothing, just getting ready for bed.” He said quietly, “What’s up with you?”

“Daydreaming of you, like always.” He swore he could hear Changhyun rolling his eyes.

“Whatever idiot.” Yet he had a small smile on his face, “So how was work today?”

“I wasn’t scheduled to work today actually. But it gave me the chance to catch up on some stuff I needed to do.”

“Like what?”

“Like…………important secret stuff that I don’t have to tell YOU about!”

Changhyun laughed at him, “Yeah sure, whatever you say.”

“Soooo how was school?” He asked.

“Eh, boring and learny. Same as usual.”

“And um, how’s everything else?” Obviously talking about the situation with his boyfriend.

“It’s…………..okay.” Changhyun was even a bad liar over the phone.

“Are you sure?” The other side went quiet.

“Hyung?” More silence.

“Jongie-ah, I gotta go now. I have to be up early.” He wanted to get off the phone before he broke down and told him everything.

“Okay.” Was all he said.

“Bye.” And he quickly hung up. His heart was racing. He mentally cursed himself for letting himself be so transparent to the boy. He put his phone down and pulled the blankets up to his chin. But it wasn’t too long that his phone rang; it was Jonghyun.

“Hello?”

“Goodnight hyung. Have sweet dreams.”

A warmth spread all over Changhyun and he couldn’t help but smile, “You too, goodnight. “ And hung up again, somehow feeling ten times lighter than he had before. He erased his call history then bundled himself up and drifted off to sleep.

 

`********`

 

` _Changhyun couldn’t believe it when he saw who was on his caller ID. He sat down his cup of coffee and answered the phone. After several minutes of talking he hung up and a rush of excitement ran through his body._ `

` _“Hey baby,” a voice from behind him said as a strong pair of arms came from behind and wrapped around his waist, “Who was that?”_ `

` _“It was the paper I submitted my article to!” He turned around to face Jonghyun who was shirtless and still damp from his shower, “They’re going to publish my article AND they offered me a job!”_ `

` _“Seriously?” He hugged him tight and kissed him on his lips, “Baby that’s wonderful! I’m so proud of you!”_ `

` _“I’m so excited! I can’t believe this is happening to me!” Changhyun threw his arms around Jonghyun’s neck and pulled him in for another kiss._ `

` _“I can believe it! You are amazing and brilliant and you’ve busted your ass for a really long time. You deserve everything you get baby. I’m so proud of you!”_ `

` _Changhyun sighed contentedly he buried his face in the other’s neck, “Thanks. I don’t know if I couldn’t have done it if I didn’t have you believing in me.”_ `

` _Jonghyun pulled him back to look him in the eyes, “Yeah you could’ve.” He leaned in for yet another more passionate kiss. He nipped at the boy’s bottom lip a bit before gently pushing his tongue against both lips to gain entrance. Which didn’t take long. He backed him up against the kitchen counter as he kissed him, his hands coming to rest on the boy’s hips._ `

` _Changhyun’s hands however were busy feeling all over the tanned and defined abs of the blonde. Suddenly, he felt himself being lifted up and he wrapped his legs around Jonghyun’s waist as sat him on top of the counter. He pulled back from the kiss leaving the boy breathless as he ran his tongue over his sensitive neck and nibbled at his collarbones._ `

` _His hand slowly traveled down the boy’s chest down to his sweatpants where he slowly pulled the string loose. Just as he was about to slip his hand inside………_ `

 

`********`

 

Changhyun’s eyes popped open and he sat up in bed. He looked at his clock and saw that it was very late and nowhere near time for him to get up. He looked around and saw that Jongdae was of course still gone.

“What the hell was that?” He said to himself out loud. He couldn’t ever recall having a dream like that in his entire life. He shook his head in hopes that he’d forget it. He knew something like that would never happen to him in this lifetime.

He sighed and laid back down. He knew he needed to go back to sleep yet he was still fully awake. Well, actually there was a part of him that was fully awake. The same part that’s always neglected by his selfish boyfriend.

He groaned in frustration, `_Why is this happening to me?_`

Willing it away wasn’t working so he figured maybe if he thought of something else it might help.

` _Baseball._` Nope.

` _Old ladies._` Nope.

` _Jongdae._` Not even that worked. All was in his mind was Jonghyun. Jonghyun’s body,  Jonghyun’s eyes, Jonghyun kissing him, Jonghyun touching him…………..

` _Screw it!_` He said to himself as he threw the covers off his body. He knew he was alone but somehow he felt nervous as he pushed down his pajama pants. It had been a long time since he had done this and if you know who walked in, that would be one very unpleasant conversation.

He let his mind get lost in his dream as he wrapped a hand around himself and began stroking his length. Never before had Changhyun been so turned on by someone. Sure he was attracted to Jongdae (not as much now for obvious reasons), but it was nothing like this. Just being close to the blonde boy makes him weak in the knees. And even the smallest touch sent electricity coursing through his body.

His heart felt like it was about to jump out of his chest and his breathing became erratic as he stroked himself hard and fast. It didn’t take long for his release to come and as he came down from his high he mentally kicked himself for saying Jonghyun’s name out loud.

After regaining some of his strength he cleaned himself up and got back under the covers.

He knew there was something seriously wrong with jerking off to thoughts of another guy in the bed that you share with your boyfriend. But a smirk crossed his face as he realized, he didn’t give a damn.


	12. Hope

Changhyun sighed deeply as he finished combing his hair and gave himself a once over in the bathroom mirror. He didn’t look nowhere near as good as one should for a night out, but there wasn’t a thing he could do about it.

No matter how hard he wished he always saw the same reflection. The boring, pale, acne laced reflection that he hated and wanted to disappear.

“Come on already!” He heard an angry shout from the living room. He quickly left and joined the voice belonging to an impatient Jongdae who was waiting for him.

The man made a disgusted face when he saw his younger boyfriend _(making him feel more self-conscience than he already did)_ , “Is that what you’re wearing?” He asked the boy who was dressed in a regular black button-down shirt, jeans, and a plain black jacket.

“Um yeah. Why?” He asked him. Wondering why in the world the other man would complain knowing the boy has no funds for new clothes and knowing he never gives him any for it as well.

Jongdae rolled his eyes at him, “Nevermind, just come on.” He turned and walked out the front door. Changhyun quickly ran to make it outside so he didn’t have to wait to lock it and have yet another reason to yell at him. He was already in a bad enough mood that he had to bring him out with him. But Changhyun didn’t mind. He was tired of always being stuck at home and it was nice to finally get out. Even though he knew full well he’d never be allowed to really enjoy himself.

The reason for him even going in Jongdae’s words is that he made the mistake of mentioning his boyfriend _(which hurt Changhyun’s feelings)_ and somebody mentioned that he should bring him along.

While in route to their destination Jongdae made sure to let the boy know what the rules were for that night, “Just don’t make too much eye contact with anyone, and don’t say a word unless somebody asks you a question that can’t be answered with a nod. Do you understand?”

“Okay.” Changhyun replied flatly.

` _What the hell does he think I’ll say that’s so bad it would embarrass him? What is it about me that’s so terrible he doesn’t want me talking to his friends anyways?_` He wasn’t surprised though. In all the time they’d been together he had never once met any of Jongdae’s friends. He wasn’t too sure he wanted to know the reason behind that.

They arrived in a crowded parking lot of a popular downtown night club. The big neon sign on the front flashed the club’s name; “Neon”. Changhyun inwardly scoffed at the absurdity of the name knowing Jongdae had a distaste for his sense of humor.

Once parked, they got out and he followed Jongdae inside. He was already cringing from seeing so many cars; being in big crowds made him nervous and he badly wanted to cling to his boyfriend as they made their way through the sea of bodies. But he didn’t, he knew an action like that would annoy the man and might also give him a reason to get yelled at.

They ended up at a table near the back where Jongdae’s friends were already seated and waiting for them. They seemed like nice enough people and they greeted him warmly which really made him wonder why they were friends with someone like his boyfriend.

Jongdae’s friends did say a word or two to him but Jongdae made sure to intervene before the exchange could turn into an actual conversation. So Changhyun just sat there in silence listening to everyone else while trying his best to seem engaged while knowing he was forbidden to join in.

After some time Changhyun found himself alone at the table after everyone else had either gone to the bar for more drinks or to go dance. He sat and sadly stared at the condensation dripping down his glass of water wishing he had again gotten left at home. Then at least he could sneak out and see a certain stock boy who never failed to make him forget just how shitty his life was.

He was snapped out of his thoughts when two of Jongdae’s friends returned with drinks in their hands, laughing and breathing heavily from the workout they got on the dance floor.

“You’re not much of a partier are you?” A pretty girl named Sunny asked him as she tucked her long dark hair behind her ear and took a sip of her drink.

“Um,” Changhyun looked around and Jongdae was nowhere in sight, “no not really. I’m actually not feeling too good tonight.”

“Aww I’m sorry!” She said reaching out to sympathetically pat his hand.

“Well if you’re sick you should’ve stayed home then! Jongdae shouldn’t have made you come out if you weren’t feeling up to it!” A rather tall man with short dark hair named Chanyeol said then adding, “Dick.” Before taking long drink from his beer bottle

Sunny turned to look at him, “Are you really surprised though?” Chanyeol shook his head at her and then turned his attention back to Changhyun.

“So, it’s Changhyun right? What do you do?” Changhyun glanced around nervously looking for Jongdae; this was not a good situation he was in.

“Do you have a job or go to school?” Sunny chimed in with a pretty smile on her face.                

“Well…….I……I’m in school right now. I……um, don’t have a job.” Changhyun wasn’t used to people asking him about himself and he certainly didn’t expect Jongdae’s friends to do such. In fact, he didn’t expect them to be as nice as they were. This again, made him question why on Earth they ever chose to be around him.

“That’s cool! What are you going for?” Chanyeol asked him, leaning closer to hear over the loud music and people talking.

“I’m majoring in writing.” He replied.

“Oh wow that’s really neat Changhyun!!!” Sunny remarked, “What kind of stuff do you write? Like, fiction stuff or newsy type stuff?”

“Newsy?” Chanyeol asked her with a smirk on his face.

“Shut up!” She said hitting his arm.

Changhyun couldn’t help but chuckle at the two of them, “I like writing a little of everything to be honest. I kinda get bored with just one thing.”

“Even sports?” Chanyeol asked him.

“Well, almost everything. As you can see I’m not very athletically inclined.” He said holding out his arm and squeezing his invisible muscle; to which the other two laughed.

“Hey have you ever thought about starting up a blog?” Sunny questioned him.

“Yeah,” Chanyeol was quick to chime in, “I mean, it’s a great way to get your writing out there until you're at a point where you can make this into a career ya know.”

“Well, that is something I’ve thought about but…..” But before he could finish, at the corner of his eye he saw Jongdae making his way back to their table. And he didn’t look too happy.

He slammed his glass down on the table making Changhyun jump and the other two look at him like he was crazy.

“Dude, what the hell is your problem?” Chanyeol asked.

“Oh it’s nothing,” Jongdae responded with a fake smile on his face, “I just need to talk to _him_ for a moment.” He looked over at Changhyun, “Come on.” His voice slightly darker than when he was talking to the others.

Changhyun tried to not look totally scared out of his mind as he got up to follow his boyfriend to a corner of the room. He already knew what was coming and tried to defend himself as quickly as he could.

“Jongdae they started talking to me and….”

“What the fuck did I tell you?” He yelled, cutting the boy off.

“What was I supposed to do? Be rude and say nothing?” He couldn’t understand why the man was so angry when he had done everything he was instructed to do.

“You could’ve left to go to the bathroom or something; ANYTHING until I came back!”

“Jongdae you never told me to do that! You said to only talk when asked a question that I couldn’t just nod an answer too!” He was almost yelling too at this point, something he never did while in an argument with the elder.

“Do I have to tell you every fucking thing to do?”

“Apparently yes because that’s what you always do anyways!”

“I wouldn’t have to if you knew how to fucking think for yourself!” Changhyun had no response to that. It was such an insult considering how much the other man controlled his life.

“Fuck, I don’t know why I even brought you here in the first place. Look at what you’re doing! You embarrass me in front of my friends, you’re making me yell in public, and you’re just completely ruining my fucking night.” Changhyun wondered just how many people there were paying attention to all this. He didn’t dare look around to see.

“You see? This is why I don’t take you anywhere! You’re so fucking pathetic and annoying; you just ruin everything.” He threw the car keys at him, “Just go home. I’ll take a damn cab.” And with that he stormed away back towards the table.

Before Changhyun’s brain could even register his own actions he was almost running to the men’s room and locking himself in the least disgusting stall he could find. Immediately the tears started flowing and he was thankful that he managed to hold them back long enough for him to get out of the crowed room.

Being berated by his boyfriend wasn’t anything new to him. In fact, he was so used to it that for the most part it didn’t even make him cry anymore. But what was new was being berated in a room full of people. Sure, most of them were too busy partying and drinking to notice. But still, he knew some of them had to have been listening. And he prayed that Chanyeol and Sunny weren’t among those that were.

He sat there drying his eyes with a wad of tissue he grabbed from the toilet paper dispenser wondering if crying in a bathroom stall of a club was more pathetic than being yelled at like a child by your boyfriend in public. The ladder of the two won in his opinion.

Just then a small rapping on the stall door was heard, “Occupied!!” He yelled out through his sniffles.

“Changhyun?” A voice called his name.

Changhyun’s was frozen in shock. He knew that wasn’t Jongdae and the voice didn’t register with the small group of people that he knew.

“Y-yeah?” He answered nervously.

“Open the door!” The voice said in a stern yet gentle tone. Taking a deep breath he got up and turned the lock until it clicked, slowly pushing the door open until it revealed who was calling him. It had been quite some time before he had seen this person and it took a few seconds before he remembered who it was.

“Chanhee hyung?”

“Yeah it’s me!” He said with a smile, “Hey move back a bit.” When the boy did he pulled the door open enough for him to step inside. He closed it behind him and locked the door.

“Are you okay?” He asked the boy who was a bit freaked out by what he just did.

“W-what do you mean?” He replied while looking down at the tissue in his hands. He knew what the other had meant. He was just too embarrassed to address it.

Chanhee opened his mouth as if he were about to speak and closed it right away. In Changhyun's shock the older man reached out and pulled him into a tight embrace.

Changhyun was as stiff as a board. He didn’t know the other that well so this felt incredibly awkward. Plus, he couldn’t remember the last time anyone tried to hug or show any affection at all towards him. Sure, Jongdae’s hugged him in the past but it never felt real to him.

He was about to push the other man away when he said something to him that made him fall into a million pieces, “You’re worth way more than how you let him treat you.”  He lost it then, letting go all the tears he had just been trying to stop from falling. Nobody had ever before acknowledged how wrongly he was being treated by Jongdae. Or the fact that he was worth anything.

He didn’t realize just how tightly he was clutching onto Chanhee until he pulled back to look him in his eyes. To his surprise the elder’s face mirrored is own. He was so lost in his own pain, he hadn’t realize that the other was crying just as hard as he was.

“Look,” Chanhee said pulling back a bit and taking Changhyun’s face in his hands, “I can’t really get into it now but, I get it. Everything you’re going through; gone through, I get it.”

Changhyun nodded knowing exactly what he meant. He could feel the pain radiating from the other, and it felt just like his own.

“I know how it feels when you have all that shit all you that you have to deal with and on top of that you’re alone.” Moving his hands off the boy’s face he rolled back the sleeve on his left arm and untied a red woven bracelet on his wrist to reveal the scar that was hidden underneath.

“This,” he held his wrist up in front of Changhyun’s face, “this is what happens when everything consumes you and you have nobody to turn to.” The tears were again streaming down Changhyun’s face knowing just what the man was talking about. A quick and easy way to end all the pain. It wasn’t something that crossed his mind often but it had been there quite a few times.

Chanhee reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper and put it in Changhyun’s hands. On it was a phone number and an address.

“You take this and hide it you understand? And if you ever need to talk or……you feel like it’s about to come to this,” he held up his wrist again, “you call me, text me, come find me, or whatever okay? Do you understand me?” Changhyun nodded.

Chanhee pulled him into another embrace, “You’re not alone okay? You’re not alone.”

He reluctantly let the boy go, and after one more look in his teary eyes, turned and left the men’s room. Leaving Changhyun feeling like just maybe there was some hope for his sad life after all.

 

~~~~~~~

 

Chanhee didn’t care how bad his face looked as he pushed through the crowd towards the bar where his drink was. Once he reached it he picked it up, downed it in one gulp and asked the bartender for another.

He felt a hand rub soothing circles on his back, “Did you talk to him?”

“Yeah I did.” He didn’t look turn to look at him until he gulped down his next drink.

“You okay hyung?”

He sniffled and nodded, “Just take me home Byungie. Please?”

“Of course.” The shorter man replied as he paid for their drinks and led the older man out the front door.


End file.
